| Author | Message | ||
     Hybridmomentspass |
I wish to start no problems with this, just pure, true curiosity. Today I went to a funeral for a family friend, a Baptist funeral. This was the third one that I've been to in my adult life (past 18 years or so). One of them was quite "normal" with the focus on the deceased and some preaching The second was FIVE HOURS LONG. It had about five MINUTES of speak regarding the dead, and then over 4.5 hours of preaching and alter calls etc. Today was nowhere near as bad, but similar in some ways - Two sentences mentioning the deceased man and then 30 minutes of preaching. Is this normal for Baptist funerals? I am Catholic, so not as familiar with Baptist customs. Was just curious if this was the norm or jst some overzealous preachers. By the way - this one today was the 'tv' type, ending every sentence with 'AH' (ex, not Jesus, but Jesus-aah or save-AH etc) Again, if I upset anyone by this thread, I truly am sorry and am not meaning to, its just something I found different than non-baptist funerals i've been to where more focus was placed on celebrating the life of the deceased | ||
| 86129squids |
Sounds more Pentecostal than Baptist... Heck. I was raised Baptist, my mom's side was B and my dad's was Catholic- Mom (Grandma) won that one. My older sis is now a Baptist chaplain, recently gained her PhD in Ministry from Asbury, which is a Methodist seminary... she did that specifically because the Baptist church won't allow women in the pulpit. Her thesis was runner-up for best in her class... I'm very proud of my sister. When our dad died, it was bewildering to me, being a Catholic funeral and him being so young gone at 57... I wanted to deliver an eulogy but I had an asthma attack that sent me to the hospital the night after his service. The difference between spirit, church and religion is an eternal mystery. I believe that a proper funeral should focus on the life and deeds of the deceased, also to comfort the loved ones still living, and that's about it. I'm not sure at all what God or Jesus would do in this situation. Prolly not what you've experienced. | ||
| Hammer71 |
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| Notpurples2 |
Depends on the preacher and their relationship with the deceased. Worst funerals I've been to are the ones where the preacher didn't know the deceased at all. When they dont have any experiences to speak of with the deceased then they just preach. From all the baptist funerals I've been to its unusual for family or friends to speak at the funeral, but they spend a lot of time at the wake swapping stories and comforting each other. | ||
| Ninefortheroad |
The several Baptist funerals I have been to were like your #1 and #3 funerals. Most have been tasteful and good, but being raised and a mostly practicing Catholic, I don't mind at all but, that said, could do with a little less time spent on preaching/altar calls. I just wish the Baptist had good Catholic or Jewish wedding parties/receptions!  | ||
| Fast1075 |
I was raised Baptist, Hardshell Southern Baptist. Church twice on Sunday, prayer meetings on Wednesday, bible readings, etc, etc. Your experience is typical of Baptist funerals. (A) Put on a show using the grieving family as leverage for the soul harvesting. (B) Say a few words about good ole Bob, or condemn Bob for his misdeeds, then use the leverage to drag people to the alter for salvation. The last time I ever stepped foot into a Baptist church was when my dad died. Preacher, during the funeral brought up that dad had not been keeping up with his tithes, and as such was a sinner and was going to hell. Dad, who was a fruit picker had spent the last six months of his life wasting away from cancer. Not to say all are like that. My first preacher that I remember preached in a one room church with no electricity, and preached barefoot. When asked why, he would tell people that the money it would cost for electricity needed to go to help people in need, and that he would wear shoes to preach when all the children in the world had shoes. He was the vary salt of the earth, I cry as I remember him now. He was buried with no shoes. | ||
| Hybridmomentspass |
well part of it yesterday was the lack of relationship between preacher and deceased, i know that. He even said that he hardly knew the man and that 'he enjoyed hunting and his family' and that was it....from then on it was preaching. I'll assure you, the one yesterday and the one that was 5 hours long were both Baptist. The 5 hour one was nuts! He went on and on and said that you if you dont come to his church youre burning in hell. oh, youre a woman and wear pants...well that menans youre lesbian, which means youre homosexual - youre burning in hell too. He also spoke of small children getting off of the school bus a few days before...yep, they burning in hell too cause they are sinners. W T F that dude was off his rocker. | ||
| Hybridmomentspass |
"Your experience is typical of Baptist funerals. (A) Put on a show using the grieving family as leverage for the soul harvesting. (B) Say a few words about good ole Bob, or condemn Bob for his misdeeds, then use the leverage to drag people to the alter for salvation. " Creepy....the man yesterday - Bobby. ha | ||
| Zane |
Pretty normal for a Baptist funeral. I grew up in the Grace Brethren Church. Think Southern Baptist on steroids. Every service, even funerals was a chance to save a soul, ever service was an alter call. After I got thrown out of that church, I spend time in the Southern Baptist church because it was more moderate. It was very much the same, I'm not knocking either Grace Brethren or Southern Baptist. Just neither was right for me. Your experience seems like a normal Southern Baptist experience. | ||
| Oldog |
Hybrid: Being part of a "So.Babpt." group ( a small new plant ) I am kinda supprised about 5 hours of preaching and the like. Several SB funerals that I have been to even where the pastor and the deceased were good friends, there was a message and an alter call. On the preaching, We as believers [ all denominations ] are called to share the gospel, witness, and disciple, these are commands of Christ himself. So I hope that it makes more sense. The message ( Christs ) is about love and forgiveness, and salvation He (Christ is how GOD reached out to his lost children giving himself as a sacrifice for us) and we are given a choice as simple as life and death. We are ALL flawed, and we all fall short ( me in particular ) I have a choice believe and "repent", or not. An alter call is for some one who has felt the call and made a choice, and a true believer Wants to reach out to those who wish to ask for forgiveness or to repent or just to talk. The believer is not doing the Saving, but is acting as a companion / guide / friend. This "service" that you describe The 5 hour one was nuts! He went on and on and said that you if you don't come to his church you're burning in hell. oh, you're a woman and wear pants...well that menans you're lesbian, which means you're homosexual - you're burning in hell too. He also spoke of small children getting off of the school bus a few days before...yep, they burning in hell too cause they are sinners. This may have small snippets of truth there but it is a lot of hate speech in what you are describing, ( I don't doubt it a bit ! ) BUT to be truthful, the scripture warns us that IF we Choose to lead a life away from GOD ( In rebellion ) then there is a price to be paid. And believers are commanded to share the good news with all. Not all Christians are judgemental, hateful hypocrits. [ ALTHOUGH ALL are flawed and sin in some manner ] Many are loving kind and wise, just good folks I understand if I came up to you and started waving my hands in the air rolling my eyes while shouting "If you don't turn your gonna burn" I probably would not reach you, If I am respectful, kind, non judgmental, and honest. Then perhaps when YOU are ready I could share the good news and my faith with you I will post some thoughts and a story about one of those Christian friends later. OH BTW sorry for your loss. (Message edited by oldog on July 22, 2013) | ||
| Reepicheep |
Hey, let's leave my opinion about Yamaha Virago's out of this. | ||
| Oldog |
Hey, let's leave my opinion about Yamaha Virago's out of this. }A virago is a woman who demonstrates exemplary and heroic qualities. The word comes from the Latin word vir, meaning virile '(man)' to which the suffix -ago is added, a suffix that effectively re-genders the word to be female. The word virago has almost always had an association with cultural gender transgression. A virago, of whatever excellence, was still identified by her gender. There are recorded instances of viragos, such as Joan of Arc, fighting battles, wearing men's clothing, or receiving the tonsure.[1] This could cause social anxiety. For this reason, the word virago could also be used disparagingly, to imply that a virago was not excellent or heroic, but was instead violating cultural norms. Thus virago joined pejoratives such as termagant[2] and shrew to demean women who acted aggressively or like men. Wait what was that about shrewish motorcycles? | ||
| Hybridmomentspass |
"This may have small snippets of truth there" ill guarantee you there is no truth to my grandmother being a lesbian. or any woman being a lesbian due to wearing pants. ive dated some girls that wore pants....trust me when i say they werent into girls | ||
| Reepicheep |
Pants or no pants, a Yamaha Virago is a steaming pile of crap. The entire development team should have been sent back to the piano factory. | ||
| Oldog |
Sorry I was not implying such about your Grand mother, I was trying to say the speaker ranting for 5 hours calling women lesbians, etc sounds like hate speak, he may have used small snippets of truth like the unsaved will be apart from GOD [ HELL ] which is true, as far as going to "his" church, The church -- the people are "GODS", the building is just a place to meet. Going to his church naah might just wind up going to hell if you attend his services and are POISONED. you don't have to look too far to find folks who will twist things, We (Christians are supposed to study and pray, to prevent our being missled, it was a problem even in the first century....) Ive dated some girls that wore pants....trust me when i say they werent into girls Yep same here.......,  } | ||
| Hybridmomentspass |
LOL | ||
| Jramsey |
I quit going to Baptist funerals several years ago as I decided if I want or need a sermon I'd rather attend church on Sunday with a preacher of my choice. | ||
| Oldog |
Hybred, on the y the way - this one today was the 'tv' type, ending every sentence with 'AH' (ex, not Jesus, but Jesus-aah or save-AH etc) the pastor at my last church did that once in a while, usually to make us laugh. or to wake us up.. he told a story one Sunday about one of his fellow students in seminary, spoke like that, and dressed in white down to the shoes and belt, it was an illustration about being relate-able It takes all kinds .... }Pants or no pants, a Yamaha Virago is a steaming pile of crap. The entire development team should have been sent back to the piano factory. they came from water craft ... the piano guys kept trying to make it out of wood and varnish it. The water craft guys just knew it had to float ..... thats why its a big steaming TURD because TURDS FLOAT.... welllllll sorta  sounds like its good for hammer practice} (Message edited by oldog on July 22, 2013) | ||
| Ourdee |
Worst funerals I've been to are the ones where the deceased's children get up and speak. I've seen funerals where the preacher tries to preach the dead into heaven. I've seen funerals that were parties. I was asked to preach a friends funeral. I declined but arranged for a very wise preacher to handle the service and I spoke of my friends positive and humorous traits for a few minutes. Weirdest funerals for me are services after a cremation. Just feels odd. | ||
| Natexlh1000 |
The worst aspect of several funerals I have been to was "the meat show" Open casket with the makeup and mouth sewn shut, the whole deal. Best are more of a celebration of a life. Photos, food, drinks, giving public praise to the life lived. you know? | ||
| 86129squids |
Went to a good friend's memorial service last year- Ed Nabors, probably the most SERIOUS rider in terms of mileage I've ever known, and one of the founders of the Knoxville BMW riders group... they had set up a giant picture display of his years as a motorhead, kart racing, MC stuff of all kinds. A large number of the attendees, including myself, rode in. The preacher gave one of the best memorial speeches for Ed that I'd ever heard. One of the things on this earth that pisses me off the most, is a memorial where the preacher phones it in. We had that happen when my grandfather passed, and EVERYONE noticed. | ||
| Ulywood57 |
Ecclesiastes 7:2 Better to go to the house of mourning Than to go to the house of feasting, For that is the end of all men; And the living will take it to heart. I am a Baptist Pastor, I've done countless funerals...my purpose is always 3-fold 1. Glorify God 2. Honor the memory of the one having passed 3. Comfort the grieving family As the above Scripture illustrates it is also a time for us all to consider that life is short and eternity is never ending. God has much to say about all that. The services I conduct last about 30-45 minutes depending on what testimonies are shared from the audience. | ||
| Ninefortheroad |
Ulywood57--- You are my kind of Baptist minister! | ||
| Swampy |
True Story: Baptist High School graduation, hot day in June, no air conditioning. Pastor Bob was getting lengthy "we really need to pray for these graduates...Pray for their guidance...pray for their intervention....Pray for their this and pray for their that, about 45 minutes into the sermon about prayer the father-in-law (now deceased) says in a volume just loud enough for the entire church to hear "I'm praying HE shuts up!" In a Baptist church you will get alter calls during ANY type of get together, it is not a bad thing, just a way for people to hear the gospel, never know what may happen! My recommendation is if you have something to do, have another commitment, or get hungry just leave, they will understand, I have done it myself. | ||
| Ratbuell |
OK...first? Alt*a*r. Altar. Not "alter". "Alter" is "to change", as in, hemming a pair of pants. Now that that is off my chest... Ulywood - you have the right idea. However, I'd have to order them 2, 3, 1. The Glory of God shall show itself through the other steps, naturally. Do them correctly, and it shall be apparent on its own. I was raised Roman Catholic. Admittedly...I've been turned off by the self-serving majority and have reverted to a life of "don't hurt others and be as good a person as I can be". A shame...but given the types of people I was exposed to in the Church, I don't feel too bad, and I take comfort in the passage about "keeping faith as a lantern under a cloth" (forgive me for not remembering it word for word). True faith, to me, doesn't need to be shouted from every hilltop and pulpit - it is demonstrated in daily life, through actions, not words. That said - I am sorry for your loss. Funerals are always difficult, and disjointed reactions to the words that are spoken at those events only make them more difficult. Remember your friends for the good moments. Keep the happy times in your heart, and that is how your friends will live with you forever. Aspire to be at least as good as they were, and you will honor them through your own actions. | ||
| 86129squids |
This speaks to the OP, and, Swampy, that reminds me... Here's one of my favorite artists, doing one of his alltime best pieces with his Large Band: That song is on his album "Joshua Judges Ruth"... there are maybe 2 or 3 other songs on there that are about funerals and dying, all simply magnificent in each case. The album ends with "Flyswatter/Icewater Blues", don't get much better than that. When our mother died, close to 5 years ago now, I really wanted to somehow include this song into her service- she's the one who gave me a real love for music. My sis shot me down on this, admittedly most who attended her service may not appreciate my strange taste... gotta listen to the lyrics. (Message edited by 86129squids on August 23, 2013) | ||
| Swampy |
Holy Crap! Don't let my mother-in-law know I spelled Altar incorrectly! She is a college professor! | ||
| 86129squids |
Ummm, also, no need to capitalize it either...  |
