| Author | Message | ||
     Slaughter |
RAMEN! | ||
| 86129squids |
S... Pastafarian?! | ||
| Pwnzor |
Scramble your cerebrum. Read THIS PDF format. Definitely worth your time. | ||
| Moxnix |
Out of town, ignoring my congretation while at the salt flats. You can sponsor my next trip and keep me away from the keyboard. | ||
| Moxnix |
God created the donkey & said to him : " You will work unceasingly from sunrise to sunset carrying burdens on your back. You will eat grass, you will have no intelligence & you will live 50 years. You will be a donkey. " The donkey answered: " I will be a donkey, but to live 50 years is too much. Give me only 20 years. God granted his wish. God created the dog and said to him: "You will be a dog. " You will guard the house of man. You will be his best friend. You will eat the scraps that he gives you and you will live 25 years. You will be a dog. " The dog answered: " Sir, to live 25 years is too much, you give me only 10 years. God granted his wish. God created the Monkey and said to him: " You will be a monkey. " You will swing from branch to branch doing tricks. You will be amusing and you will live 20 years. You will be a monkey. " The monkey answered: " Sir, to live 20 years is too much , you give me only 10 years. God granted his wish. Finally God created the man and said to him: " You will be a man, the only rational creature on the face of the earth. " You will use your intelligence to become master over all animals. You will dominate the world and you will live 20 years. Man responded: " Sir, I will be a man but to live only 20 years is very little, give the 30 years that the donkey refused, the 15 years that the dog did not want and the 10 years the monkey refused. God granted his wish. And since then, man lives 20 years as a man, he marries and spend 30 years like a donkey, working and carrying all the burdens on his back. Then when his children are gone, he lives 15 years like a dog, taking care of the house and eating whatever is given to him, so that when he is old, he can retire and live 10 years like a monkey, going from house to house, from one son or daughter to another, doing tricks to amuse his grandchildren. | ||
| Cityxslicker |
"During Ramadan - We do not gamble, eat during the day, eat pork, drink alcohol, smoke, do drugs, or cavort illicitly with women; it is the will and to respect of Allah" ...... Says the local Saudi Commander circa 1992 And what are we doing now ... My question. Ax, well Allah does not see into Bahrain. Let the party continue ! God Bless Hypocrisy ! (Allah too) | ||
| Aesquire |
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| Moxnix |
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| Moxnix |
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| Moxnix |
The Pastor's Ass The Pastor entered his donkey in a race and it won. The Pastor was so pleased with the donkey that he entered it in the race again and it won again. The local paper read:PASTOR'S ASS OUT FRONT. The Bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity that he ordered the Pastor not to enter the donkey in another race. The next day the local paper headline read: BISHOP SCRATCHES PASTOR'S ASS. This was too much for the Bishop so he ordered the Pastor to get rid of the donkey. The Pastor decided to give it to a Nun in a nearby convent. The local paper, hearing of the news, posted the following headline the next day: NUN HAS BEST ASS IN TOWN. The Bishop fainted. He informed the Nun that she would have to get rid of the donkey so she sold it to a farmer for $10. The next day the paper read: NUN SELLS ASS FOR $10. This was too much for the Bishop so he ordered the Nun to buy back the donkey and lead it to the plains where it could run wild. The next day the headlines read: NUN ANNOUNCES HER ASS IS WILD AND FREE. The Bishop was buried the next day. The moral of the story is . . . being concerned about public opinion can bring you much grief and misery . . even shorten your life. So be yourself and enjoy life. Stop worrying about everyone else's ass and you'll be a lot happier and live longer. | ||
| 86129squids |
Mox- God loves you and this GREAT humor. Thanks for brightening my day, which has been pretty dark despite daylong sunshine. God bless you and yours. | ||
| Moxnix |
Oh, it's just a cartoon. Not as funny as a joke, but . . . | ||
| Geedee |
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| Moxnix |
No, I cannot. And am not. But may try to be at some point. Snakes start at about 4 minutes. I remember this film from college anthro, the guy who gets bit dies of the snake bite. | ||
| Moxnix |
A young couple invited their aged pastor for Sunday dinner. While they were in the kitchen preparing the meal, the minister asked their son what they were having. "Goat," the little boy replied. "Goat?" replied the startled man of the cloth, "Are you sure about that?" "Yep," said the youngster. "I heard Pa say to Ma, 'Might as well have the old goat for dinner today as any other day.'" ___________________ Hmm. Perhaps I can find some way to offend people again. Will work on it. | ||
| Geedee |
Watched part 1 and your posted part 5 of the Holy Ghost People, and then ran out of broadband for the month. I've been giving it a flogging lately. Fascinating footage. Thanks. | ||
| Moxnix |
Once the largest sect of Islam, they follow Rumi in non-violence. Predecessors to our modern head bangers? | ||
| Geedee |
Scramble your cerebrum. Pwnzor, having just finished reading 'God's Debris', how am I supposed to now discuss the toss on the political threads? I hope I haven't been cured  . | ||
| Moxnix |
Somehow, I was neither shocked, nor enlightened. Back to searching the overseas activities. | ||
| Xdigitalx |
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| 86129squids |
OK Xdigital- THAT was sublime. I LOVED the segue into that jazz segment at the end... Not to turn this into another music thread, but, try this... another drummer that transcends. Bonus- my search for Dave Weckl drum solos had some buddies joining... Good religion. I look for what elevates the spirit. Whenever I'm down, or mourning as I am now, Chick Corea has two discs I turn to- his first "Akoustic Band" disc, and an earlier one when he was doing the "Electric' band, "Eye Of The Beholder". Funny thing is- he's into Scientology (not even sure if I should capitalize that). John Pattitucci (one of the world's greatest bassists and a cornerstone of Chick's work) always dedicates his solo albums to God and Jesus. I'm eternally grateful that they get along, are friends and professional peers, bandmates. If anyone here EVER gets to see Chick or any one of these guys perform- JUST GO. | ||
| Moxnix |
I'm old and remember seeing this guy on TV. He was into drugs rather than religion, but drumming may have been the religion and drugs the tithe. | ||
| Cityxslicker |
ah Jehovahs Witness.... It will scare the bejesus outta you - and make you realize that you are probably not one of the 144,000 and just a miscreant passing time. White wash anything that warrants a Hallmark card as trite, pagan, useless And puts a strong doubt and suspect out of anything from the capital - no matter which party is spewing it. Hello cynacism - I know thee well. PS - I was told that no true Christian would ever wear a crucifix as of course Christ was never hung on one. I will credit them with giving me the drive and endurance to find original sources and battle stupidity at its root ideology - THAT has served me well. ( wanna upset a Bible scholar.... change versions and sects) | ||
| Geedee |
"It will scare the bejesus outta you -" The RC's knew how to do it. Were you ever exposed to the comedy of Dave Allen? | ||
| Cityxslicker |
And into the hole he goes.... thanks for the laugh first hearing of him. I have friends from most of the religions - and we do have our rebel rousing bouts - they all consider I am going to hell.... for different various reasons. Yippee'd F'n yahoo. meh (for me to warrant a belief in Hell - I would have to give its alternative credence; and I don't) The Jehovah's Witness were pretty adamant that 'Hell' was existence without the presence of God .... sounds like my zip code. | ||
| Moxnix |
Off on my last pilgrimage of the season to the Bonneville Salt Flats. I trust this flock can keep themselves bemused, in tune, scattered, scorned, de-horned, still-born again, and all the rest without me stirring up stink from world headquarters here in MO. The clip covers Turkish whirling dirvishes for the well-mannered tourist trade, those spreeing gentry out to buy a few memories on a cruise in the Med. Too tame for me, no snakes tossed, no hashis peeled off a wad of cheesecloth to pop into a chillum, no hyper-meditative head banging. Perhaps in the solitude of nature's salt pan in Utah, I will re-energize, find that quantum of solace away from wife & spawn, boil down this collection of thoughts and what nots to a premier sermon on throwing stones, casting bones, salvation, imagination, gas stations, and how easy it is just to grok the big picture of space, time, petty crimes, and God. Cheers. | ||
| 86129squids |
 Well said Mox. | ||
| Moxnix |
I made it to the Salt Flats Cafe, have not yet embarressed myself or anyone else. Will work on it. Turned off the music as I came over an I-80 hill to the salt pan, drove in meditative silence for 40 miles. No ephiphanies yet, but perhaps the flies will say something profound when I get out on the salt tomorrow a.m. Dinner is served. Ciao, Or chow, as the case may be . . . | ||
| 86129squids |
I take everything posted on this thread with a grain of salt. | ||
| Moxnix |
Nice day out here, even with the flies out in droves. Are they attracted to me, or perhaps my mental garbage? A rhetorical question, but have at it. |
