A guy is driving around the back woods of Montana and he sees a sign in front of a broken down shanty-style house: 'Talking Dog For Sale 'He rings the bell and the owner appears and tells him the dog is in the backyard.
The guy goes into the backyard and sees a nice looking Labrador retriever sitting there. ... 'You talk?' he asks.
'Yep,' the Lab replies.
After the guy recovers from the shock of hearing a dog talk, he says 'So, what's your story?'
The Lab looks up and says, 'Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was pretty young.. I wanted to help the government, so I told the CIA.
In no time at all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping.'
'I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years running...
But the jetting around really tired me out,
and I knew I wasn't getting any younger so
I decided to settle down. I signed up for a job
at the airport to do some undercover security,
wandering near suspicious characters and
listening in. I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded a batch of medals.'
'I got married, had a mess of puppies, and now I'm just retired.'
Posted on Wednesday, February 22, 2012 - 10:55 am:
Well, my boy Max is not doing very well. It appears he might have a tumor on his liver but it's hard to say without ultrasound. I am not going to pursue that because he is 12 years old and his rear legs are getting weak as well. He is eating very little and what he does eat gives him the squirts. The vet says it is possible that he just has an inflammation and we are giving him antibiotics. He did eat some food last night and that is a big improvement. Also, his breath as gotten better -- it was really foul. It may be that the drugs are working. In the meantime, he's perfectly happy and frisky, he's just not eating and is messing up my house. I'm worried about my dog.
Thanks for that. Last night I cleaned his butt and cut a lot of the hair off. He was really a mess. He ate some more food last night and some potatoes this morning, so that's good. I'm a little bit optimistic.
Dwardo- good on ya for hanging tite with your buddy. I read this thread every day, and usually I'm reminded of something about my old buddy Loki who passed last May after 17 1/2 years.
Truth be told, I probably let him go too long- I just couldn't bring myself to "put him down". I'm gonna have to man up when that day ever comes again- now it's down to just the GF's dog here, she's 11ish, and seriously the best, smartest mutt we've ever seen. The type of dog that looks at you, and you KNOW if she could talk, you'd learn a new universe. When she goes, it'll be BAD.
All that said, I'm glad Max is on the up and up- to help with the "messes", would it be feasible to try some doggie diapers? It'd be useful to have a hand-held showerhead for the cleanups, regardless...
I just bought enough new laminate flooring to re-do my living room and kitchen- the carpet in the LR has long been ruined by my buddy and his weak bladder, and so on...
COLUMBUS, Ohio - A senator joined animal activists on Sunday to speak out against a popular dog treat made in China.
Senator Sherrod Brown called on the U.S. Food and Drug Administration to take action after many people reported medical complications after feeding their dogs Waggin’ Train brand Chicken Jerky Tenders , ONN’s Denise Alex reported.
Some dog owners reported vomiting, kidney failure and the death of their pets after feeding them the treats.
The exact cause of the treat’s problems was unknown, but complaints extend as far back as 2007, Alex reported.
Hollie McCutcheon said that her dog developed stomach complications after eating the treat.
“I was giving what I thought was a healthy treat to my dog and it made him sick,” McCutcheon said.
Brown said that he asked the FDA to investigate the matter. He said that he questioned China’s vice president about the dog treats.
“He didn’t much answer the question,” Brown said. “But he knows that people are aware of it, involved in it and very interested in what they are doing.”
McCutcheon said that she is following her veterinarian’s order and is only feeding her dog American made dog treats.
The treats have not been pulled from store shelves.
Funny you should say about the carpet. I am removing most of the carpets from my house on Saturday. My house is under permanent remodeling anyway, and as I'm a bachelor I can get away with plywood floors or whatever is under there. I have also considered diapers and will do that if it becomes necessary. Max is the best dog anybody has ever had (IMHO) and he will be hard to replace. In a weird way what is really hard is that he is happy and peppy most of the time, the same loving dog as ever. If he were acting sick or in pain it would be easier in a way. There is no way I could put him down when he smiles at me all the time. I'll just have to do whatever I have to do. I hope he gets better.
OK Mark- that one was so good, our dog Chloe almost crawled in my lap to see what the heck was going on- she looked all around the desk, up top, and so on!
Anyone else get a reaction from their fur buddies from that?! Heck, it's over and she's STILL looking around...
Hey Wolf! Are still looking for another PIT or dog in general? If so, PM I can fix you up! If anyone is looking for a good canine to add to thier household PM me. The only thing we ask is that the dogs not be outside only dogs and especially not chained to a pole, tree, engine block, mother in law, etc...... The red nose that we rescued 5 weeks ago just gave birth to 8 puppies! The previous owner said that there was a blue pit and a black lab running the neighborhood. We are keeping two and want to find homes for the rest. It will be little while before theyy are ready. Pictures to come!
treat motivated... I've got one of those in my little pack of 3. Makes learning new tricks easy but he doesn't do squat unless I have something he wants
After many trips to the Humane Society, discussions with a bunch of different rescue organizations and a lot of soul searching, we've welcomed a new pup into our family. We've named her Zoe, she's sweet, very energetic and we're still somewhat questioning just how smart she is... She's a golden retriever mutt, somewhere around 4 months old.
We're still learning about her true character, as she's currently sharing the house with a friend's 100 lb yellow lab as his family is moving, but I'm sure she'll fit in well...
This one will stay well away from the neighbor dogs and their horrible owners.