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Sifo
Posted on Thursday, April 20, 2017 - 01:26 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only) Ban Poster IP (Custodian/Admin only)

It's being reported that Aaron Hernandez will be out for an indefinite period of time, due to a neck injury.
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Hootowl
Posted on Thursday, April 20, 2017 - 05:56 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only) Ban Poster IP (Custodian/Admin only)

So, about a year ago, I had this conversation with my United flight attendant neighbor. Seems an appropriate time to post it.


1
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1313
Posted on Friday, April 21, 2017 - 06:34 am:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only) Ban Poster IP (Custodian/Admin only)

An engineer was removing the engine parts from a racing car when he saw a famous heart surgeon in his shop.
He went to him & said, “Look at this engine… I opened its heart, took the valves out, repaired and put them back. So why do I get such a small salary? and you get huge sums???”
Classic reply by Doctor:
The doctor smiled at the engineer, came close to his ear and said, “Try the same when the engine is running.”
The story doesn’t end here.
The engineer smiled back, came close to doctor’s ear and said, “I can pick any dead engine and make it alive… But can you ???”
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Hootowl
Posted on Friday, April 21, 2017 - 09:17 am:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only) Ban Poster IP (Custodian/Admin only)

Actually...they stop your heart during open heart surgery. Can't have it flopping around whilst they're trying to replace arteries and whatnot.
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Crusty
Posted on Friday, April 21, 2017 - 09:38 am:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only) Ban Poster IP (Custodian/Admin only)

They don't stop your heart completely. They lower the temperature of the blood and use potassium to slow it down to about 1 beat per minute. The procedure was explained to me in detail before they replaced my Aortic valve.
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Hootowl
Posted on Friday, April 21, 2017 - 11:08 am:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only) Ban Poster IP (Custodian/Admin only)

Interesting. Everything I've ever read about it says they stop it completely and cool via heart-lung machine or cold saline directly on the heart so as to avoid damage when they cut off the blood supply. But then, I've never been briefed by the doc actually doing the work before it was done to me, so I'll take your word for it. : )
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Sifo
Posted on Friday, April 21, 2017 - 11:12 am:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only) Ban Poster IP (Custodian/Admin only)

Back in the '70s when my dad had heart surgery at the VA hospital, the explained it to me. They did stop the heart and kept blood flowing with a machine. They chilled the body by dumping ice into the chest cavity. I imagine things may have changed since then.
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Griffmeister
Posted on Friday, April 21, 2017 - 11:00 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only) Ban Poster IP (Custodian/Admin only)

Yeah, back in the 70's they used stone tools and had a sacrificial altar in the corner of the OR.
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Aesquire
Posted on Saturday, April 22, 2017 - 12:09 am:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only) Ban Poster IP (Custodian/Admin only)

Eye surgeons still use obsidian scalpels. Sharper and smaller edges than steel.

Can't speak to altars. I thought it was an autoclave. ; )

They did the "lower the body temperature" thing on me for knee replacement surgery. Less bleeding etc. Didn't intentionally stop the heart, just slowed it some.
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2003xb9r
Posted on Saturday, April 22, 2017 - 02:19 am:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only) Ban Poster IP (Custodian/Admin only)

Actually, both Hootowl & Crusty are correct. Some heart surgeons stop the heart, some don't. When I had my open heart surgery 18 months ago, my surgeon preferred not to stop my heart. Others on the surgery team prefer to stop the heart. A lot comes down to personal preference of the surgeon from what I was told. Mine was a triple by-pass.
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Aesquire
Posted on Saturday, April 22, 2017 - 02:28 am:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only) Ban Poster IP (Custodian/Admin only)

Ah!, The Organ Recital. The ritual of our times. ( or level of broken-ness.... )
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Aesquire
Posted on Saturday, April 22, 2017 - 08:05 am:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only) Ban Poster IP (Custodian/Admin only)

http://www.theonion.com/article/berkeley-campus-lo ckdown-after-loose-pages-wall-st-55815
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Crusty
Posted on Saturday, April 22, 2017 - 08:25 am:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only) Ban Poster IP (Custodian/Admin only)

Well; I guess that an "All New" NOT rude joke.

Or somethin'.
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Bandm
Posted on Saturday, April 22, 2017 - 09:28 am:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only) Ban Poster IP (Custodian/Admin only)

You can retire to Phoenix, Arizona where
1.  You are willing to park three blocks away from your house because you found shade.
2.  You've experienced condensation on your rear-end from the hot water in the toilet bowl.
3.  You can drive for four hours in one direction and never leave town.
4.  You have over 100 recipes for Mexican food.
5.  You know that "dry heat" is comparable to what hits you in the face when you open your oven door at 500 degrees.
6.  The four seasons are: tolerable, hot, really hot, and ARE YOU KIDDING ME??
 
OR
 
You can retire to California where...
1.  You make over $450,000 and you still can't afford to buy a house.
2.  The fastest part of your commute is going down your driveway.
3.  You know how to eat an artichoke.
4.  When someone asks you how far something is, you tell them how long it will take to get there rather than how many miles away it is. 
5.  The four seasons are:  Fire, Flood, Mud and Drought.
 
OR
 
You can retire to New York City where...
1   You say "the city" and expect everyone to know you mean Manhattan
2.  You can get into a four-hour argument about how to get from Columbus Circle to Battery Park, but can't find Wisconsin on a map.
3.  You think Central Park is "nature."
4.  You believe that being able to swear at people in their own language makes you multilingual.
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Aesquire
Posted on Saturday, April 22, 2017 - 09:49 am:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only) Ban Poster IP (Custodian/Admin only)

http://frank151.com/each-state-perfectly-described -by-one-photograph/

Not all gems... but funny.
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Hootowl
Posted on Saturday, April 22, 2017 - 04:03 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only) Ban Poster IP (Custodian/Admin only)

Re the onion article: If you had pasted the text with no reference, I would have half thought it was real.
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Sifo
Posted on Saturday, April 22, 2017 - 09:22 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only) Ban Poster IP (Custodian/Admin only)

Leave a WSJ laying around on campus and you just might see it for real.
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Sifo
Posted on Sunday, April 23, 2017 - 06:50 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only) Ban Poster IP (Custodian/Admin only)

UNDERSTANDING DIRECTIONS

Sometimes Seniors don't Understand
Directions.
I assume some of us
are Seniors....
This is why you (a Senior?) should
listen to your Doctors instructions.
I went to my nearby CVS Pharmacy,
straight to the back, where the Pharmacists' high counter is
located.
I took out my little brown bottle,
along with a teaspoon, and set them up on the
counter.
The Pharmacist came over,
smiled, and asked if he could help me.
I said, "Yes! Could you
please taste this for me?
Seeing a senior citizen, the
Pharmacist went along.
He took the spoon, put a tiny bit
of the liquid on it, put it on his tongue and swilled it
around.
Then, with a stomach-churning look
on his face, he spat it out on the floor and began
coughing.
When he finally was finished, I looked him right
in the eye and asked, now, does that taste sweet to
you?"
The Pharmacist, shaking his
head back and forth with a venomous look in his eyes yelled, "HELL
NO!!!"
I said, "Oh, thank God! That's a real relief! My
doctor told me to have a Pharmacist test my urine for
sugar!"

I can never go back to that CVS, but I really don't
care, because they aren't very friendly
there anymore!
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