| Author | Message | ||
     Doerman |
Here's the top ten "Dilbert like" comments made in Corporate America: A magazine recently ran a Dilbert quotes contest. It asked people to submit quotes from their real-life Dilbert-Type managers. TOP TEN FINALISTS: 01. As of tomorrow, employees will only be able to access the building using individual security cards. Pictures will be taken next Wednesday and employees will receive their cards in two weeks. (This was the winning quote from Fred Dales at Microsoft Corp. in Redmond, WA.) 02. What I need is an exact list of specific unknown problems we might encounter. (Lykes Lines Shipping) 03. E-mail is not to be used to pass on information or data!! It should be used only for company business. & gt; (Accounting manager, Electric Boat Company) 04. This project is so important, we can't let things that are more important interfere with it. (Advertising/Marketing manager, United Parcel Service) 05. Doing it right is no excuse for not meeting the schedule! (Plant manager, Delco Corporation) 06. No one will believe you solved this problem in one day! They've been working on it for months. Now, go act busy for a few weeks and I'll let you know when it's time to tell them. (R&D supervisor, Minnesota Mining and Manufacturing/3M Corp.) 07. Quote from the Boss: Teamwork is a lot of people doing what I say. (Marketing executive, Citrix Corporation) 08. My sister passed away and her funeral was scheduled for Monday. When I told my Boss, he said she died on purpose so that I would have to miss work on the busiest day of the year. He then asked if we could change her burial to Friday. He said, "That would be better for me." (Shipping executive, FTD Florists) 09. We know that communication is a problem, but the company is not going to discuss it with the employees. (Switching supervisor, AT&T Long Lines Division) 10. One day my Boss asked me to submit a status report to him concerning a project I was working on. I asked him if tomorrow would be soon enough. He said, "If I wanted it tomorrow, I would have waited until tomorrow to ask for it!" (Hallmark Cards executive) | ||
| Whatever |
Even better was when my company made up a fake "letter of discipline" to deny me a 11% raise to do a job I was putting in 80 hours a week for and commuting 2000 miles by air each week. A month later my boss left the new budget out on the table after the meeting. The person they replaced me with was a good 22% over my salary, costing them a grand total of 6K extra a year. I could go on and on about those arseholes... | ||
| Kenm123t |
Lets see 80 hours a week is 4000 hours roughly you were paid about 30k per year. Went college to get that job? quoting Court " you chose poorly" | ||
| Whatever |
Goof ball not even close... your math not so good... | ||
| Whatever |
If 11% is equal to 6K, then 100% is what? | ||
| Pmjolly |
Char, the way you said all that, I thought you meant 22% is equal to 6k. The person they replaced me with was a good 22% over my salary, costing them a grand total of 6K extra a year. That's $27,272.72, or like Kenm123t said, about 30k per year. Even this dumb redneck can do simple math! | ||
| Doerman |
Well.. hmmm. My original post was meant to bring a little levity in all the Occupy, Scandals, elections, Unions, politics, Panigale discussions. Lighten up .. laugh a little The world is good - even if the human race engages in all kinds of follies  | ||
| Whatever |
Ok Ozzie. I think Ken just lives to pick on me.  | ||
| Sifo |
Perhaps the replacement was better with the math!  | ||
| Pwnzor |
Ummm yeah.... Whatever, Whatever. I hope accounting wasn't part of your job. I think Ken just lives to pick on me. Was it 11% or 22%? (Message edited by pwnzor on November 09, 2011) | ||
| Whatever |
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| Slaughter |
What SHE^ said! | ||
| Pmjolly |
I was just playin' Char. | ||
| Mtjm2 |
Char , you changed you hair color . I like you better as a red head . | ||
| Kenm123t |
Char you think too highly of your self. your not that high on the radar  Here have a herring Norskie | ||
| Kenm123t |
Doer I ll try to ease up on Char Its like kicking puppies so easy its not really that much fun!  | ||
| Bolthead |
Char-- When I first became a badwebber, you told me to watch out for the unsympathetic, back-stabbing, mealy-mothed, mendacious mendicants...or something to that effect. What could ever have brought you to that realization? (Switching gears) Of the 24 different employers I've had in my life, all but 3 were Dilbert-like. I hope your next one is a winner. Negotiate from a position of strength. | ||
| Whatever |
+1 Bolthead |
