| Author | Message | ||
     Chauly |
Someone just mentioned lying awake one night, thinking about how he was going to pay for his daughter's college tuition. Recently I had lunch with a couple of salesmen, Steve and Andy. Andy had been calling on me for 27 years; Steve had only been working for about a year with the company. Just chatting, he mentioned how he and his wife have a daughter, 1 month old, and he was concerned about how much he should be laying away for college in 18 years. (Andy and I looked at him as if he'd lost his mind, but I digress...) I suggested that with the state of the economy, perhaps he should buy an ounce of gold each year and put it in a safe deposit box. Upon her 18th birthday, plop that pound-and-a-bit of gold in front of her and say:"Happy Birthday, here's your stake in life, now leave..." If she wanted to go to college, fine. If she wanted to see the world, fine. If she wanted to start selling hotdogs out of a cart, fine. The operative word, in all cases, is "Fine." Whatever she wants to do is just fine, as long as she grows up and moves away. (Now Steve looked like I had lost my mind!) Then I had a different take on it: One of the problems with "yute" today is that they are given everything they need or want. They are not invested in their future at all anymore. Mom and Dad give and give and give, and the kids take, and take, and take... So I said, "Instead of plopping the bag of gold in front of her, plop it down in front of you. Make the following offer: Anything you want to do, I'll match it. Do you want to go to Community College? Trade School? Military? Harvard? Come up with half of the money, and I'll supply the other half. Start a business?, I'll be your first investor. Travel the world? Come up with half the ticket, and I'll buy the other half (heck, I'll go with you!) Do nothing at all? Well, I'll contribute half of nothing as well (but you still have to move out...)" Now Steve really looked shocked. But then Andy spoke up: "I have a 26- year old daughter, living at home, and working as an Assistant Mgr. at Cracker Barrel. She hates it. She was in college at the Virginia Nautical Institute (associated with William & Mary College) getting a degree in Marine Biology. Doing well. Liked it. Then she fell in Love with another student. They were an item for two years, then he slept with her best friend. The inevitable breakup followed. The problem was, it was a small program, and every class she had, he was there also. She couldn't handle it. She started skipping classes to avoid him, her grades suffered, she ended up on academic probation, and then she quit and moved back home--- 20 hours short of graduation! Now I'm out $60,000, she's at home, depressed, aimless, and in general, miserable." Now both Steve and I were speechless. Talk about making the point... So, what was it you were saying about "Saving for College"? | ||
| Barker |
My 2 cents, For me I worked my way through a B.S. starting at a community college and then a cheap state university. I was the first of my family to go to college. My family could not afford it. They insisted I get scholarships and work, not loans, especially loans from the government. I graduated without debt. When I was a student could walk into a lecture hall and tell you who was paying their own way and who was getting someone else to it or putting off paying for it. Different work ethic completely. I expect my children to do the same, if they wish to invest in post high-school education. Here is another great option, "Hard Work U" Students don't pay tuition, work for an education, graduate without debt, develop character and a value for God and Country. http://www.cofo.edu/ (Message edited by barker on October 04, 2011) | ||
| Xl1200r |
I wasn't just handed much growing up - we were well enough off, middle-middle class if you will, but while friends were getting handed cars and what not, I was working a TON through high school and bought my own. Bought my own gas, own insurance, own repairs. My father, after giving my older brother a car only to have it ruined in a matter of months, insisted that's that how we would do it. I think I'm better off for it. I had enough money given to me for college such that I could have gone to a state school for 4 years and owed nothing. In the end I decided I would save some money by doing 2 years at a community college and finish at a very expensive private school. All said and done I ran out of money (still had financial aid and scholarships) for my last semester, and that ended up being on me. I didn't graduate with much debt compared to some friends, especially considering the name of the institution on my degree, but I spent enough of my own money to make sure I made the most of it. I'm nowhere near being a parent... I know that I'll handle the car deal like my dad did with me, but as for school... I'm not so sure. There's something to be said for working hard for yourself, but if I were financially able to give me child a leg up and get them into the best school, I don't know that'd I'd be able to not say no. | ||
| Scooter808484 |
While I don't disagree with the sentiment, it's not universal. I paid for all of my daughter's education and she was a straight A student, good enough that now she's getting paid by the university to continue in grad school to get her PhD. Some kids are motivated no matter who's paying. I think that if they have demonstrated the ability and motivation, and you have the capability, you should help in whatever way you can. | ||
| Cityxslicker |
If I had to do it all over again ? 4 years active duty military 2 years back packing through europe then college oh well. I f#cked this one up good an proper. Now I have the rest of my life to try and make it right. | ||
| Strokizator |
My father, after giving my older brother a car only to have it ruined in a matter of months, insisted that's that how we would do it. Yep, my older brother ruined all kinds of things for me. No little league (just a bunch of parents fighting). No paper route (your mother will just end up driving you around). No after school job (your grades will suffer). Etc. Thanks a lot, dude. Back on subject, daughter number 1 got some money from dad, worked some and some loans. #2 joined the Air Force first. | ||
| Kenm123t |
I worked and went to school 18 months out of high school I bought my mom a new Thunderbird Town Landau paid cash that was fun! | ||
| Kyrocket |
What a Debbie Downer thread  Waaaaaa Waaaaah. I've got three kids and all three have education funds, have since just after they were born. Like someone said earlier they pretty much get everything they need and want. They get spoiled by their grandparents and every birthday/Christmas they get a check towards their education. Working out so good so far. It won't pay for a whole education but every dime they get is one whole dime I won't have to pay. Can't say what I'll do when the time comes but I'll do whatever I can to give them a leg up. And if daddy's girls want to stay at home, well, I may just let them. Or so I say now. | ||
| Blake |
My parents made me put half of everything I earned into savings and matched it. I found the coop program (work every other semester after freshman year) at SMU and paid my way. Scholarship, grants, loans helped too. Got married a year and a half before graduating, then put her through architecture program. Big house? No. Fancy new cars? No. Eat out much? No. Fancy clothes? No. Nothing wrong with junior college and a state school. Life is about choices. Dad told me in no uncertain terms that it was to college or a job. No staying home. >>> then she quit and moved back home But back to school next semester, yes? If not, then the mistake is yours. Easy for me to say. ;]  | ||
| Just_ziptab |
I spent my education fund on a new motorcycle($800.00)...........  ....with change left over to start me in Voc Tech U.......worked my way to the diploma($160.00 a semester). Damn,schooling was cheap and good back then. | ||
| Kyrocket |
I knew it was way "back then" when you bought a new bike for $800.00 | ||
| Whistler |
Funny, we can plan but you never know how it's going to turn out. We love our children, pray, do what we think is best, hope and worry. If you asked me if I was a good father I might say, maybe, I try, but I wish I could do better. Truthfully, I have found parenting to be a difficult thing. And now I have been slow to reach the conclusion that my son's life is his to live, mostly without me. I will always there for him but I am letting go. Not easy. About saving for college, my wife insisted we invest in the Texas Tomorrow Fund (bought credit hours at 1990's tuition rates) when my son was very young. It was a terrific program that saved us many thousands of today's dollars. At the moment my son has no interest in college. Next year? Who knows, all I know is that things change. Nothing seems to remain static in his, mine, our, world. | ||
| Xodot |
We helped our kids with school as much as we could - mostly by providing them a roof and food while they worked and put themselves through secondary education. Today they laugh and complain the "other" kid got the best treatment, but all 4 of them are well adjusted, (considering the crap some have been through) now in healthy relationships and have a future they are interested in that they made for themselves. Yea I think I did OK as a Dad, (so far) but I would have been useless without my darling | ||
| Ljm |
My parents helped me where they could, saved for the first year, helped along the way after. I worked, got loans, got a ride in graduate school and paid my way while supporting a family. I think that with the cost of college now (and then) all hands have to pull to get it done. Otherwise the chances of getting through diminish with life, stress, finances, etc. My oldest son went on active duty, working on his degree now. My oldest daughter went other directions but in her mid-20's has found the motivation to start school. My youngest daughter is receiving help from the bank of dad, but works two jobs and lives with her mom to get by. No handouts there. I figure when they get done they'll appreciate the experience and won't have had it handed to them. By the same token, I'll help where I can and as much as they let me, with doesn't appear to be much. They have grown up to be pretty self-sufficient. | ||
| Buellkowski |
With me it was roughly 1/3 student loans (that I paid off), 1/3 scholarships & work-study (that I earned), and 1/3 parental support. In hindsight I think it was a good balance of reward for achievement and personal responsibility for my education. Like Whistler, we pre-purchased one full year of tuition for each of our kids through a state-run program. Of the available options we researched it seemed like the safest bet, sort of like a savings bond. Then the state legislature started tinkering with the program (not in a good way), and all of a sudden it didn't seem as safe a bet anymore. | ||
| U4euh |
Funny this came up. I am an "older" returning to school student. I'm also on the student grievance committee. We had a student who was videotaped stealing a Iphone out of another students bag. He was suspended for the remainder of the semester. He filed a grievance stating that the punishment was to harsh. He also admitted to stealing the phone, the reason he done it was because his phone was stolen 2 weeks prior, so this was justified. He showed no remorse, never apologized, and never gave a comprehensable explanation as to why he thought the school was wrong in their choice aside from he thought it was too harsh. Unfortunatley that is the attitude I see in the younger crowds at school. Mom and Dad gives me everything so why do I have to worry about what the rules are. It's a real shame what todays youth are coming too. | ||
| Scooter808484 |
Unfortunately that is the attitude I see in the younger crowds at school. Mom and Dad gives me everything so why do I have to worry about what the rules are. It's a real shame what todays youth are coming too. You certainly don't have to be young to have that attitude. Like I said, my kid, and lots of her friends, are pretty darn dedicated, motivated and just awesome overall. | ||
| U4euh |
Good on you, thats what that is. When I was in the school system, it was easy to spot the kids whose parents actually gave a crap about what their children were doing. Very easy to spot, and very joyful to work with. | ||
| Buellitup |
If he decides to do it, the real answer is, $100/kid/month in a 529 plan. It'll be around $40k-60k when the kid hits age 18. I think the best way to do it is to get your undergraduate degree as cheaply as possible, then work for an employer who will pay for the graduate degree. The high school diploma used to be what separated the smart people from everyone else. Then everyone got one. So it became the undergrad degree which made you different, and then everybody got one of those. Today, it's a graduate degree that makes you stand out. If it ever becomes a doctorate, help us all. | ||
| Chauly |
It used to be 8th grade that separated the educated from the not-so-much. Now we graduate kids from High school that can't read or figure, and it takes another two years of remedial classes to get them up to competency! | ||
| Boltrider |
My parents never paid a dime for my college. I started at a JC, paid as I went, then later transferred to CSU, Sacramento and paid that with a $5500 dollar FAFSA student loan. I also worked 30-40 hours the entire time. The idea that parents have to, or should feel obligated to pay for college is crazy. The kid could benefit more in the long run by figuring it out on their own. It will give them a real-life intro into how to budget their money. |
