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Buell Forum » Quick Board » Archives » Archive through May 21, 2011 » Late Nike Jokes About Osama Bin Laden « Previous Next »

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Crusty
Posted on Friday, May 20, 2011 - 07:17 am:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only) Ban Poster IP (Custodian/Admin only)

"The Republicans are so happy about bin Laden they've granted
President Obama full citizenship." –David Letterman

"Last night the Dalai Lama implied that the killing of Osama bin Laden
was justified. I think his exact quote was, "I love all living things,
but that guy was a dick." -Conan O'Brien

"Osama bin Laden is in the ocean. How ironic. Once again surrounded by
seals." –Jay Leno

"Osama bin Laden had money and telephone numbers sewn into his
clothes. Apparently we got him just as he was on his way to summer
camp." -Jay Leno

"After all the talk about caves, bin Laden was hiding in a
million-dollar mansion in Pakistan. The CIA became suspicious when
they learned there was a million-dollar mansion in Pakistan." –Jimmy
Kimmel

"Osama bin Laden's death has been in the news all day. Leftish
stations are going, 'President Obama saves the world.' Stations on the
right are going, 'Obama kills fellow Muslim.'" –Craig Ferguson

"How about those Navy Seals. We're getting our money's worth there.
They broke into Osama bin Laden's compound with 12-foot walls topped
by barbed wire, and fired a warning shot into his head." –David
Letterman

"Elisabeth Hasselbeck of 'The View' is writing a children's book about
Osama bin Laden's death. She wants to write a book to explain the
whole thing to children. No title yet, but I have some suggestions:
'The Cat in the Fatwa,' 'Horton hears a Helicopter,' 'Goodnight,
Douche'" –Craig Ferguson

"Apparently, members of Al Qaeda are online slamming the U.S. I don't
understand why they're so upset. Everyone in Al Qaeda just got a
promotion." –Craig Ferguson

"There's already been some trouble for Osama bin Laden in the
afterlife. There was a mix up and he was greeted by 72 vegans." –David
Letterman

"The hot new drink around the country is the bin Laden. It's a Colt 45
and a shot that goes right to your head." –Jay Leno

"Bin Laden was buried at sea. Or as Dick Cheney calls it, 'the
ultimate waterboarding.'" –Jay Leno

"The White House says they will release the Osama bin Laden death
photo. Better yet, they’re doing it on a set of limited edition
commemorative plates." –Conan O'Brien

"What?! Not only did we kill Bin Laden, we killed him in Abottabad!
Abottabad sounds like a name most New Yorkers would have invented for
the fictional place they would have loved to kill Bin Laden." –Jon
Stewart

"He was living a half a mile from Pakistan's version of West Point in
a town surrounded by retired ex-military officers. Let me put it in
New York City terms. Bin Laden was on 21st and Seventh Avenue; they
were on 21st and Ninth Avenue. If the Pakistani military academy were
Domino's, they would have been delivered to bin Laden on foot." –Jon
Stewart

"Osama bin Laden, as we speak, is living with Spongebob in a pineapple
under the sea." –Jimmy Kimmel

"He's up to 2,000 friends on Shot In The Facebook." –Jimmy Kimmel

“By the way, 'buried at sea'? means 'dumped in the ocean.' That’s what
they did with him. They dumped him in the ocean. Now I won't feel so
guilty about peeing in the water anymore when I go to the beach."?
–Jimmy Kimmel

"And so, Osama Bin Laden got his first bath in almost ten years. This
could the best shark week ever." –Jimmy Kimmel

"Finding bin Laden was like finding a needle in a country that swore
it didn’t have needles." –Stephen Colbert

"Osama bin Laden was apparently shot twice in the face. It looks like
Dick Cheney may have been involved." –Jay Leno

"Osama bin Laden is dead, which means the No. 1 threat to America is
now the KFC Double Down." –Conan O'Brien

"Bin Laden was living in a house with no Internet access, which
explains why there were all those bin Laden sightings at the Islamabad
Kinko's." –Conan O'Brien

"Looking for Bin Laden was like a 10-year game of Where’s Waldo. Only
better because when you finally find Waldo you get to storm his
compound and put a cap in his ass." –Craig Ferguson

"Bin Laden lived in this compound in Pakistan with all of his wives
for 6 years. So he did suffer." –David Letterman

"I would like us to kill bin Laden every Sunday night. It makes for a
much brighter start to the week." –Jimmy Kimmel

"Jacob and Isabella are the most popular baby names in the U.S. The
least popular baby name: Donald Sheen bin Laden." –Jimmy Fallon
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Hybridmomentspass
Posted on Friday, May 20, 2011 - 08:42 am:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only) Ban Poster IP (Custodian/Admin only)

this has nothing to do with nike. But I loved it, some really funny stuff in there.
The one about internet was good, as was the million dollar mansion in Pakistan.

THanks for the first thread I read this morning (on here) being hilarious!
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Nillaice
Posted on Friday, May 20, 2011 - 08:51 am:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only) Ban Poster IP (Custodian/Admin only)

the last thing he said to his wives as he left was "you feed the dogs, i'll feed the fish"
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Crusty
Posted on Friday, May 20, 2011 - 08:57 am:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only) Ban Poster IP (Custodian/Admin only)

I didn't catch the typo in the title until it was too late.
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Slaughter
Posted on Friday, May 20, 2011 - 09:17 am:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only) Ban Poster IP (Custodian/Admin only)

Nike is the Greek goddess of VICTORY. I say title is correct.
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Hybridmomentspass
Posted on Friday, May 20, 2011 - 09:26 am:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only) Ban Poster IP (Custodian/Admin only)

Victory will come when the group is gone, all we've done is kill one of thousands. Sadly, someone will take his place, the idea is still alive in these people.
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Tbolt_pilot
Posted on Friday, May 20, 2011 - 06:01 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only) Ban Poster IP (Custodian/Admin only)

I heard that the EPA is going after the Navy and wants to slap a big fine on them.



...for dumping a big bag of sh1t in the ocean.
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