| Author | Message | ||
     Forerunner |
Going through my email archives I found some old hokey humorous and emails. That I thought I'd share... 15 Tips for Sizing Up the Street Sleeper 1. Caked-on dirt covering tire brand on sidewalls: Sneaky - Goodyear or Firestone Sneakier - repro Pro Tracs Uh-oh - M&H Racemaster 2. Wheels of choice: Sneaky: Stock-looking steelies and dog-dish caps. Sneakier: Slotted aluminum mags that haven't been cleaned in 25 years. Uh-oh: Stock-looking steelies that don't attract a magnet. 3. Exhaust system: Sneaky: 2 1/2 inch mandrel bent tubes with only one tip below rear bumper. Sneakier: 3 inch stainless tubing ending before rear axle. Uh-oh: 3 inch stainless tubing painted light brown to simulate road dirt. 4. Front end: Sneaky: Dented hood and rusty fenders. Sneakier: Front clip off a different color car. Uh-oh: Hood and fenders that don't attract a magnet either. 5. Air induction: Sneaky: Non-functional scoop bondo'd to hood and left unpainted. Sneakier: Under-bumper Ram Air stolen from W-30 Olds at car show. Uh-oh: Nascar air box sealed to cowl plenum. 6. Gas tank: Sneaky: Painted white to keep fuel cool. Sneakier: Trick fuel cell inside stock tank. Uh-oh: Corroded green steel drum in trunk with twin pumps and faded HazMat labels. 7. Tacky distraction on back of car: Sneaky: Homemade Pro Mod wing. Sneakier: Continental kit stolen from '57 Mercury at car show. Uh-oh: Continental kit pops open to deploy Deist parachute. 8. Traction aid: Sneaky: 8-leaf springs and adjustable pinion snubber. Sneakier: Cal-Trac bars painted light brown to simulate road dirt. Uh-oh: 7-foot torque arm anchored to floor under front seat. 9. Windows: Sneaky: Lots of chips, cracks, and unidentifiable bugs. Sneakier: Purple tint hides sheetmetal dash and liquid-filled gauges. Uh-oh: Stiff breeze flexes windshield in a half inch. 10. Paint job: Sneaky: Lacquer-based, skillfully applied with spray cans from Sears. Sneakier: Water-based, skillfully applied with rollers from Home Depot. Uh-oh: Cloudburst dissolves water-based paint, revealing "NHRA Record Holder - 1968" on both rear quarter panels. 11. Engine management: Sneaky: No tach; hi-beam indicator converted to shift point light. Sneakier: AM radio face converted to tachometer. Uh-oh: MSD box converted to give driver electric shock at 8500 rpm. 12. Shifter: Sneaky: Auto shifter on the column, ratchet shifter on floor. Sneakier: Auto shifter on the column, 4 speed shifter on floor. Uh-oh: Auto shifter on the column, Lenco Batch o' Levers on floor. 13. Steering wheel: Sneaky: Split, worn original wheel with horn button missing. Sneakier: Low rider chain wheel with Cheech Marin signature horn button. Uh-oh: Butterfly drag wheel with picture of John Force taped to center. 14. Tacky interior distraction: Sneaky: Fuzzy dice hanging from rear view mirror. Sneakier: Shrunken head hanging from rear view mirror. Uh-oh: Platinum Summit charge card hanging from rear view mirror. 15. Driver's mental competence: Sneaky: Listens to Barry Manilow on slide-out 8-track player before race. Sneakier: Calls mom on cell phone to check on laundry status before race. Uh-oh: Chucks 8-track player and cell phone out window, hooks up nitrous line to crash helmet before race. | ||
| Forerunner |
(Disclaimer: This is from 2003 and I have not verified as accurate) OK - This is for all you gear heads out there... One Top Fuel dragster 500 cubic inch Hemi engine makes more horsepower than the first 6 rows at the Daytona 500. Under full throttle, a dragster engine consumes 1 gallon of nitromethane per second; a fully loaded 747 consumes jet fuel at the same rate with 25% less energy being produced. * A stock Dodge Hemi V8 engine cannot produce enough power to drive the dragster's supercharger. * With 3000 CFM of air being rammed in by the supercharger on overdrive, the fuel mixture is compressed into a near-solid form before ignition. Cylinders run on the verge of hydraulic lock at full throttle. * At the stoichiometric 1.7:1 air/fuel mixture for nitromethane the flame front temperature measures 7050 degrees F. * Nitromethane burns yellow. The spectacular white flame seen above the stacks at night is raw burning hydrogen, dissociated from atmospheric water vapour by the searing exhaust gases. * Dual magnetos supply 44 amps to each spark plug. This is the output of an arc welder in each cylinder. * Spark plug electrodes are totally consumed during a pass. After 1/2 way, the engine is dieseling from compression plus the glow of exhaust valves at 1400 degrees F. The engine can only be shut down by cutting the fuel flow. * If spark momentarily fails early in the run, unburned nitro builds up in the affected cylinders and then explodes with sufficient force to blow cylinder heads off the block in pieces or split the block in half. * In order to exceed 300 mph in 4.5 seconds dragsters must accelerate at an average of over 4G's. In order to reach 200 mph well before half-track, the launch acceleration approaches 8G's. * Dragsters reach over 300 miles per hour before you have completed reading this sentence. * Top Fuel Engines turn approximately 540 revolutions from light to light! * Including the burnout the engine must only survive 900 revolutions under load. * The redline is actually quite high at 9500rpm. * The Bottom Line; Assuming all the equipment is paid off, the crew worked for free, and for once NOTHING BLOWS UP, each run costs an estimated US $1,000.00 per second. The current Top Fuel dragster elapsed time record is 4.441 seconds for the quarter mile (10/05/03, Tony Schumacher). The top speed record is 333.00 mph (533 km/h) as measured over the last 66' of the run (09/28/03 Doug Kalitta). *Putting all of this into perspective: *You are driving the average $140,000 Lingenfelter "twin-turbo" powered Corvette Z06 (or blown Viper). Over a mile up the road, a Top Fuel dragster is staged and ready to launch down a quarter mile strip as you pass. You have the advantage of a flying start. You run the 'Vette hard up through the gears and blast across the starting line and past the dragster at an honest 200 mph. The 'tree' goes green for both of you at that moment. The dragster launches and starts after you. You keep your foot down hard, but you hear an incredibly brutal whine that sears your eardrums and within 3 seconds the dragster catches and passes you. He beats you to the finish line, a quarter mile away from where you just passed him. *Think about it, from a standing start, the dragster had spotted you 200 mph and not only caught, but nearly blasted you off the road when he passed you within a mere 1320 foot long race course. *That, folks, is acceleration. | ||
| Forerunner |
And lastly, as a RX-7 owner I resemble this remark. Apologies in advance to anyone who may be offended by this, it's just a stupid joke.  The typical post goes something like this... Mercedes forum - My wife and her a-hole lawyer are trying to ruin me in divorce court. How do I get them both killed and not get in trouble with my medical board? Bentley forum - I used the ash tray today. How do I replace it? Camaro/Firebird forum - My girl slept with my brother and my wife. How can I kill 'em? btw, I have a record and I ain't going back. Mustang (Chevelle )forum - Some punk kid in a Civic tried to race me. Monte Carlo forum - Why do I keep getting pulled over, it ain't stolen yo. Civic forum - Some punk kid in a Mustang tried to race me. VW Bug forum - The Save the Earth concert was a success (pics) Yugo forum - When's the last time yours ran? Lamborghini forum - Wind noise around 210MPH Miata forum - Some redneck jackass in a Chevy Tahoe just ran over my car (pics) Chevy Tahoe forum - Are gas prices going down any time soon? Pontiac Fiero forum - Just bought a new flame retardant suit (pics) BMW 7-series forum - Where to get service on my Rolex? Cadillac forum - Problems parallel parking at bingo. Buick forum - Is Medicare or Medicaid right for me? Delorean forum - Just got back from the future and blew a head gasket. Please help. I'm from 1985. Crown Victoria forum - How come people don't never pass me on the highway? Honda Accord forum - Mom is giving me the car. Looking for some cheap, used 18 inch rims. Toyota Echo forum - Do our cars use AAA or AA's? Ferrari forum - Need suggestions about a business trip to Columbia. Want to get in and out fast. Porsche forum - Tire just went flat. Is it best to trade or sell the car myself? Saturn forum - Roman candle landed on my fender. Melted and need to replace. Jaguar - Is the carbon fiber dash kit group-buy still on? Mini - Just flipped the Cooper after seeing The Italian Job. Suing the movie company. (pics) Dodge Viper forum - I frightened myself on the way home from work yesterday. How to get pee stains out of the leather? McLaren F1 forum - Some punk kid in a F16 tried to race me. Dodge Minivan forum - Where's the best place to post the soccer schedule so I don't forget where I'm supposed to be? Hummer forum - Had a fender bender today. 24 hurt, 10 killed. Do I have to get the black touch-up paint from the dealer? He's 25 miles away. That's $35 in gas. Fiat forum - Hello? Am I the only member? Subaru WRX forum - I hate cops. Got ticketed for drifting in the Walmart parking lot. Chevy pickup forum - How do I git the dried tobacco juice stains off the side of mah truck? SRT forums.. - "Will this void my warranty" RX7 forum - 13B Groupbuy full, stop PM'ing me. DSM forum - Transmission Groupbuy Full stop PM'ing me Supra forum - Head to big to fit in car, should have bought a Targa. Vette forum - Why did I pay $50k for something with a Cavalier Steering wheel Ford 2.3 forum - Help! Replaced everything, still doesn't start | ||
| Gofast |
13B Groupbuy full......LOL Done with the Group buys, selling the car now. It was a blast though. 87 Turbo II  |
