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Crusty
Posted on Wednesday, December 08, 2010 - 07:26 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only) Ban Poster IP (Custodian/Admin only)

I stole this from Wild Guzzi; the poster stole it from another forum, who stole it...

Motorcycle Addiction Syndrome (MAS)
...courtesy of friends at sportbike.com

Do you have it?

Motorcycling Addiction Syndrome

Even more serious than the mania for chocolate is the growing epidemic of MAS, or Motorcycling Addiction Syndrome. Don't laugh because you might be its next victim. Just to give you a possible heads up in case it's creeping up on you, here are a few questions to quietly answer for yourself.

How many of these apply to you?

1. I have gone riding when I was depressed, or to cheer myself up.

2. I have gone on riding binges of several tanks of gas or more in a day.

3. I ride rapidly, often 'gulping' roads.

4. I have sometimes ridden early in the morning or before work.

5. I have hidden bikes in different places to sneak a ride in without being seen.

6. Sometimes I avoid friends or family obligations in order to ride motorcycles.

7. Sometimes I find myself analyzing sections of roads as if I were riding, even while in cars.

8. I am unable to enjoy myself with others unless there is a bike nearby.

9. At a boring party, I will often slip off unnoticed to go riding.

10. Riding has made me seek haunts and companions which I would otherwise avoid.

11. I have neglected personal hygiene or household chores until I have finished a ride.

12. I have spent money meant for necessities on accessories instead.

13. I have attempted to complete an Iron Butt ride.

14. Most of my friends are unapologetic motorcycle riders.

15. I have sometimes passed out from a night of heavy riding.

16. I have suffered 'blackouts' or memory loss from a bout of riding.

17. I have wept, become angry or irrational because of a road I have ridden; or, worse, NOT ridden.

18. I have sometimes wished I did not ride so much.

19. Sometimes I think my riding is out of control.

If you answered 'yes' to three or more of these questions, you may be a motorcycle addict. Affirmative responses to five or more indicates a serious problem...professional help is strongly advised.

Once a relatively rare disorder, Motorcycle Addiction Syndrome, or MAS, has risen to new levels due to the accessibility of higher quality motorcycles at a relatively low expense since the end of the Second World War. The number of motorcycle addicts and abusers is currently at record levels.

SOCIAL COSTS OF MOTORCYCLE ABUSE

Abusers become withdrawn, uninterested in society or normal relationships. They fantasize, creating alternative worlds to occupy, to the neglect of friends and family. In severe cases they develop bad posture from riding in awkward positions or carrying heavy tool bags. In the worst instances, they become cranky bike mechanics in small towns.

Excessive riding during pregnancy is perhaps the number one cause of moral deformity among the children of Road Racers, Tourers, Squids, Wannabees and Posers alike.

Known as Fetal Motard Syndrome, this disease also leaves its victims prone to a lifetime of vertigo, daydreaming, emotional instability and an unnerving predilection for unsuitable leather garments.

HEREDITY

Recent Harvard studies have established that heredity plays a considerable role in determining whether a person will become an abuser of motorcycles. Most abusers have at least one parent who abused motorcycles, often beginning at an early age and progressing into adulthood. Many spouses or significant others of an addict become addicts themselves.

OTHER PREDISPOSING FACTORS

Fathers or mothers who are road race fans, collectors, or heavy leather wearers; parents who do not encourage children to play team games, read voraciously (except Rider and Motorcyclist magazines), or watch television (other than Speedvision) in the evening.

PREVENTION

Premarital screening and counseling, and referral to adoption agencies is urged in order to break the chain of abuse. One percenters in particular should seek partners active in other fields. Children should be encouraged to seek physical activity by joining teams, and to avoid isolation and morbid introspection. Proximity to road maps and National Geographic magazines should be restricted. Keep two-stroke oil securely locked away and out of reach. Playing cards inserted into bicycle spokes must be looked upon as a primary initial symptom, as should inadvertent twitching of the right wrist and incessant muttering of the syllables "Udden-Udden." Children noted exhibiting a 'thousand yard stare' in the direction of a setting sun are likewise considered candidates for early intervention. A preference for tiny boots and multi-colored leather diapers indicates incipient 'motorcycle madness' and requires urgent, immediate treatment if any semblance of normality is ever to be achieved
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Nillaice
Posted on Wednesday, December 08, 2010 - 07:34 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only) Ban Poster IP (Custodian/Admin only)

i admit i have a Motorcycle addiction problem. and it's seasonal
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Ridenusa4l
Posted on Wednesday, December 08, 2010 - 07:47 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only) Ban Poster IP (Custodian/Admin only)

OMG....I have a problem....i read that the only medication for MAS is terramotarderal (aka GO RIDING!!!)

Jake
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Shellyo
Posted on Wednesday, December 08, 2010 - 07:47 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only) Ban Poster IP (Custodian/Admin only)

My name is ShellyO and I am a motorcycle addict.
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Danger_dave
Posted on Wednesday, December 08, 2010 - 08:14 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only) Ban Poster IP (Custodian/Admin only)

Ironically, no, I don't qualify.
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Panhead_dan
Posted on Wednesday, December 08, 2010 - 08:19 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only) Ban Poster IP (Custodian/Admin only)

Maybe you should read it upside down Dave, given your location and all.
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Crusty
Posted on Wednesday, December 08, 2010 - 08:37 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only) Ban Poster IP (Custodian/Admin only)

Ironically, no, I don't qualify.

O.K. >>> Denial <<<.
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Danger_dave
Posted on Wednesday, December 08, 2010 - 08:58 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only) Ban Poster IP (Custodian/Admin only)

Yes yes - I understand it's a gag.

The answers are still no to all but two of them. :-)
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Danger_dave
Posted on Wednesday, December 08, 2010 - 09:05 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only) Ban Poster IP (Custodian/Admin only)

1. I have gone riding when I was depressed, or to cheer myself up.

Depressed? What is depressed?

Bored - yes.

2. I have gone on riding binges of several tanks of gas or more in a day.

No binge - very regular occurrence.

3. I ride rapidly, often 'gulping' roads.

I often stop to take photos and fluff about.

4. I have sometimes ridden early in the morning or before work.

I'm self employed. If I want to ride - I do. Work can wait.

5. I have hidden bikes in different places to sneak a ride in without being seen.

I have a tee shirt that says 'Camera slut'.

6. Sometimes I avoid friends or family obligations in order to ride motorcycles.

Who needs an excuse to avoid family and friends. Riding isn't one of them.

7. Sometimes I find myself analyzing sections of roads as if I were riding, even while in cars.

I don't ever ride in cars.

8. I am unable to enjoy myself with others unless there is a bike nearby.

I can enjoy myself anywhere. Particularly if there is booze and dirty girls.

9. At a boring party, I will often slip off unnoticed to go riding.

Me? un-noticed.Yeah right. If it's boring I'll do my act. Juggling and card tricks or split loudly.

10. Riding has made me seek haunts and companions which I would otherwise avoid.

Nope - always dug biker bars.

11. I have neglected personal hygiene or household chores until I have finished a ride.

I do that anyway - riding nothing to do with it.

12. I have spent money meant for necessities on accessories instead.

I work hard. Never been that short of cash.

13. I have attempted to complete an Iron Butt ride.

Never. I'm gainst any endurance event on public roads..

14. Most of my friends are unapologetic motorcycle riders.

Nope. Several of my closest friends are writers. Lots ride too. So part yes.

15. I have sometimes passed out from a night of heavy riding.

I get the AA joke - but really.

16. I have suffered 'blackouts' or memory loss from a bout of riding.

I get the AA joke - but really.


17. I have wept, become angry or irrational because of a road I have ridden; or, worse, NOT ridden.

I get the AA joke - but really.

18. I have sometimes wished I did not ride so much.

Nope. Never, always more.

19. Sometimes I think my riding is out of control.

Nope - just the opposite. I'm very good at what I do on a bike.

So there - nyah. I'm mature and you're not

(Message edited by danger_dave on December 08, 2010)
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Gunut75
Posted on Wednesday, December 08, 2010 - 10:05 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only) Ban Poster IP (Custodian/Admin only)

The answers are still no to all but two of them.
LOL The only ones I answered no to are 8 and 18. The rest of them are all yes.
Great.........this must mean I'm OCD on this stuff.
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Danger_dave
Posted on Wednesday, December 08, 2010 - 10:15 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only) Ban Poster IP (Custodian/Admin only)

Hey maybe there's a govt handout for treatment. Wait - I want to change my answers.....
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Cycleaddict
Posted on Wednesday, December 08, 2010 - 11:13 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only) Ban Poster IP (Custodian/Admin only)

WHAT ?
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Cityxslicker
Posted on Wednesday, December 08, 2010 - 11:26 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only) Ban Poster IP (Custodian/Admin only)

I can enjoy myself anywhere. Particularly if there is booze and dirty girls.


The Charlie Harper lifestyle.
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Cataract2
Posted on Thursday, December 09, 2010 - 02:17 am:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only) Ban Poster IP (Custodian/Admin only)

Is it bad that I fit 95% of those?
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Iman501
Posted on Thursday, December 09, 2010 - 02:49 am:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only) Ban Poster IP (Custodian/Admin only)

5,8,13,14,15,16,18,19 are all no for me
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Xl1200r
Posted on Thursday, December 09, 2010 - 09:33 am:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only) Ban Poster IP (Custodian/Admin only)

I answered 'yes' to 11 of them.

Whoops.
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