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Brumbear
Posted on Sunday, February 14, 2010 - 07:25 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only)

>
> Irish Virginity Test Kit
>
> Paddy is planning to marry, he is, and asks his family doctor how he
> could tell if his bride-to-be is still a virgin.
> His doctor says, "Aye, Paddy, all Irish use three things for what we
> call a Do-It-Yourself.... Virginity Test Kit.... a small can of red
> paint, a small can of blue paint and a shovel."
> Paddy asks, "Aye, and what do I do with these things, doctor?"
> The doctor replies, "Before ye climb into bed on your wedding night,
> you paint one of your balls red and the other ball blue. If she says,
> "That's the strangest pair of balls I ever did see...", you hit her
> with the shovel.'
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Jramsey
Posted on Sunday, February 14, 2010 - 07:34 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only)

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Oldog
Posted on Sunday, February 14, 2010 - 07:39 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only)


Glangk !
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Vampress
Posted on Sunday, February 14, 2010 - 08:26 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only)

A redneck is going to propose to his girl, but wants his fathers advice first.
He says "Daddy, I want to marry my girl but she is a virgin, what do I do?"
His Daddy says simply "don't marry her son. If she's not good enough for her own family, she's not good enough for ours!"
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Oldog
Posted on Sunday, February 14, 2010 - 08:36 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only)

OH MY!

Murder at redneck party, CSI is called in to solve the case, they cant, the dna all matches and there are no dental records.
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Oldog
Posted on Sunday, February 14, 2010 - 08:39 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only)

You might be a red neck IF
You know how many bails of hay your car holds...

You might be a red neck IF
Your mama tore her best dress coon hunting.

You might be a red neck IF
If you and your GF both call the same woman "MAMA"
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Ft_bstrd
Posted on Sunday, February 14, 2010 - 08:47 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only)

I don't know how I feel about redneck jokes coming from an Aussie.


Do they call them "rednecks" down under? I understand there is inbreeding in Tasmania, but I didn't realize there are also tractor pulls and NASCAR.


On a separate note, I friggin' HATE commercials for this place:




They are based out of Florida and probably don't employ a single Australian in the entire place. Who the HELL do they think they are fooling?
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Hootowl
Posted on Sunday, February 14, 2010 - 09:14 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only)

I met some very nice people in Tasmania, and absolutely loved the place. Is Tasmania the West Virginia of Australia?
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Ft_bstrd
Posted on Sunday, February 14, 2010 - 09:20 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only)

Did any of them tell you that you had a "purty mouth"? : D
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Nevrenuf
Posted on Sunday, February 14, 2010 - 09:28 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only)

so what do you have against florida ft. besides all the snow birds.
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Slaughter
Posted on Sunday, February 14, 2010 - 10:17 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only)

One of the most amazing Tasmanians: Neil Davis.

Combat camera man. Famous for filming the scene from the US Embassy in Saigon as the NVA rolled the tanks through the gates. Amazing story.

Read Davis' bio: One Crowded Hour. You'll be hooked.

Whether by accident or not, he filmed his own death when a Thai tank fired on their position when Davis was covering yet another Thai coup. Eerie.
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Vampress
Posted on Monday, February 15, 2010 - 06:03 am:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only)

FB we still call our 'local wildlife' rednecks, along with Bogans or Westies(in Sydney).
Tasmania is always the brunt of all the inbreeding jokes too. It is such a beautiful place though. We are hoping to visit some friends there soon.

Oh...the Outback Steakhouse? The menu looks pretty damn good actually!
There's only one thing missing...Steak pie with mushy peas on top : )
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Ft_bstrd
Posted on Monday, February 15, 2010 - 10:19 am:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only)

Rednecks? Really? Interesting.


I assumed rednecks were a US thing.

I did find out a few years ago that rednecks aren't just a southern thing. We had a family of rednecks from Wisconsin move in next door.
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Whatever
Posted on Monday, February 15, 2010 - 11:07 am:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only)

What is a Koaler???
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Americanmadexb
Posted on Monday, February 15, 2010 - 11:59 am:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only)

1 KILLED 6 INJURED IN PIE FACTORY EXPLOSION.

The blast could be heard from 3.14159 miles away!
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P47b
Posted on Monday, February 15, 2010 - 12:23 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only)

Neverenuf I had a blast when I was in Fl. My Uncle was a Flight Mech. at NASA. I got to see so many things that were not on the Tourist route.
The one bad altercation I had was in a buffet line in Orlando
The last place we ate at I had a lady yelling at me that she was going to sue me.
Apparently you have to touch every piece of food you want in a buffet line. I got mad when she kept picking up food and playing with it and putting it back. When you’re around old people that think they have a lot of money, they don’t like 13 year old boys that voice an opinion on how sanitary they are.
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Nevrenuf
Posted on Monday, February 15, 2010 - 12:57 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only)

i look forward to the day that i'm a halfback. been down here to long. i know that there's bad drivers everywhere but here, it's just ridiculous. took the cage out to lakeland to drop off some stuff to firebolt32 and in that time i had at least 6 people just move out in front of me or try to like the idiot that had to move over 4 lanes to turn into the mall without turnsignals and when i laid on the horn, he just looked at me like i should have known what he was doing and i can see him bitching about something or another. eventually my house will be remodeled and hopefully the market will be good enough to where i can get a decent nickle for it and move to tennessee. amen.
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Crusty
Posted on Monday, February 15, 2010 - 08:45 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only)

INTERNET WARNING:

If you get an email titled "Nude photo of Nancy Pelosi,"



DO NOT OPEN IT!



It contains a nude photo of Nancy Pelosi.
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Nevrenuf
Posted on Tuesday, February 16, 2010 - 06:48 am:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only)

even i'm not that big of a pervert to do something like that crusty.
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