| Author | Message | ||
     Just_ziptab |
a nurse walks into a bar, with a parrot on her shoulder, and the bartender says “hey, where did you get that?” and the parrot says, “in the hospital there is a million of them”
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| Dbird29 |
Still wasn't funny | ||
| Froggy |
The first time I heard the joke, it was inside World of Warcraft, and it was WoW themed, still just as funny.  Also, I didn't find the last thread racist, I didn't even think of the remotely possible racial link until someone mentioned it. | ||
| Xl1200r |
Anyone care to send me the picture in question? | ||
| Drkside79 |
I'm w/ Dbird that still isn't funny. Also as for the original being racist it was borderline and had no business on BadWeb. IMO | ||
| Froggy |
Xl1200r - http://yokel.110mb.com/media/ObamaParrot.jpg | ||
| S1wmike |
It was not racist it was a geographical statement. +1 ziptab A guy named Vinny walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder. The bartender asked "Hey where did you get that?" The parrot says "Go to Italy there is a million of them there." (Message edited by S1wmike on November 26, 2009) | ||
| Ourdee |
so This guy from Indiana goes into a bar with a parrot on his sholder and the bar tender sais," Hey, what is this? a joke?". | ||
| Nvr2old |
Now that's funny Ourdee. But in Indiana we spell it "shoulder".  I'm not even dealing with "sais". I'll let you look that one up. (Message edited by nvr2old on November 26, 2009) | ||
| Ochoa0042 |
three fathers are out for some beer, one is chritian, another is catholic, and lastly morman. they're talking about their family.. the christian says 'i have 4 kids, if i have one more i can start a basketball team'.. haha, they laugh and bullshit at the christian. then the catholic says 'i have 11 boys, if i have one more i can have a football team'.. haha, they laugh and bullshit at the catholic prettly funny. then the morman says 'i have 17wives, if i have one more i'll have a golf course' | ||
| Brinnutz |
Oh, now we make fun of us Hoosiers? HAHA | ||
| Doughnut |
How many cops does it take to escort a subject down the stairs? None, he tripped!  | ||
| S1wmike |
How many cops does it take to escort a subject down the stairs? None, he tripped! That's some funny stuff!!!!! | ||
| Xodot |
and sometimes that's just the way it happens to be | ||
| Just_ziptab |
I was married 3 times" explained the man to a newly discovered drinking partner, "and I'll never marry again. My first 2 wives died of eating poison mushrooms and my 3rd wife died of a fractured skull." "That's a shame." said his friend , "How did it happen?" "She wouldn't eat the mushrooms." | ||
| Xl1200r |
Bum link, frogman - but I think the gist of the joke. Seems to me like it's only racist to those who want it to be. | ||
| 20buellteam |
Just try reading this without laughing till you cry!!! I dare you. Pocket Tazer Stun Gun, a great gift for the wife. A guy who purchased his lovely wife a pocket Tazer for their anniversary submitted this: Last weekend I saw something at Larry's Pistol & Pawn Shop that sparked my interest. The occasion was our 15th anniversary and I was looking for a little something extra for my wife Julie. What I came across was a 100,000-volt, pocket/purse- sized tazer. The effects of the tazer were supposed to be short lived, with no long-term adverse affect on your assailant, allowing her adequate time to retreat to safety....? WAY TOO COOL! Long story short, I bought the device and brought it home. I loaded two AAA batteries in the darn thing and pushed the button. Nothing! I was disappointed. I learned, however, that if I pushed the button and pressed it against a metal surface at the same time; I'd get the blue arc of electricity darting back and forth between the prongs.. AWESOME!!! Unfortunately, I have yet to explain to Julie what that burn spot is on the face of her microwave. Okay, so I was home alone with this new toy, thinking to myself that it couldn't be all that bad with only two triple-A batteries, right? There I sat in my recliner, my cat Gracie looking on intently(trusting little soul) while I was reading the directions and thinking that I really needed to try this thing out on a flesh & blood moving target. I must admit I thought about zapping Gracie (for a fraction of a second) and thought better of it. She is such a sweet cat. But, if I was going to give this thing to my wife to protect herself against a mugger, I did want some assurance that it would work as advertised. Am I wrong? So, there I sat in a pair of shorts and a tank top with my reading glasses perched delicately on the bridge of my nose, directions in one hand, and tazer in another. The directions said that a one-second burst would shock and disorient your assailant; a two-second burst was supposed to cause muscle spasms and a major loss of bodily control; a three-second burst would purportedly make your assailant flop on the ground like a fish out of water. Any burst longer than three seconds would be wasting the batteries. All the while I'm looking at this little device measuring about 5" long, less than 3/4 inch in circumference; pretty cute really and(loaded with two itsy, bitsy triple-A batteries) thinking to myself, 'no possible way!' What happened next is almost beyond description, but I'll do my best.. ..? I'm sitting there alone, Gracie looking on with her head cocked to one side as to say, 'don't do it dips**t,' reasoning that a one second burst from such a tiny little ole thing couldn't hurt all that bad. I decided to give myself a one second burst just for heck of it. I touched the prongs to my naked thigh, pushed the button, and . HOLY MOTHER OF GOD . WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION . WHAT THE HELL!!! I'm pretty sure Jessie Ventura ran in through the side door, picked me up in the recliner, then body slammed us both on the carpet, over and over and over again. I vaguely recall waking up on my side in the fetal position, with tears in my eyes, body soaking wet, both nipples on fire,testicles nowhere to be found, with my left arm tucked under my body in the oddest position, and tingling in my legs? The cat was making meowing sounds I had never heard before, clinging to a picture frame hanging above the fireplace, obviously in an attempt to avoid getting slammed by my body flopping all over the living room. Note: If you ever feel compelled to 'mug' yourself with a tazer, one note of caution: there is no such thing as a one second burst when you zap yourself! You will not let go of that thing until it is dislodged from your hand by a violent thrashing about on the floor.. A three second burst would be considered conservative? IT HURT LIKE HELL!!! A minute or so later (I can't be sure, as time was a relative thing at that point), I collected my wits(what little I had left), sat up and surveyed the landscape. My bent reading glasses were on the mantel of the fireplace. The recliner was upside down and about 8 feet or so from where it originally was. My triceps, right thigh and both nipples were still twitching. My face felt like it had been shot up with Novocain, and my bottom lip weighed 88 lbs. I had no control over the drooling. Apparently I pooped on myself, but was too numb to know for sure and my sense of smell was gone. I saw a faint smoke cloud above my head which I believe came from my hair. I'm still looking for my nuts and I'm offering a significant reward for their safe return! P.s... My wife, can't stop laughing about my experience, loved the gift, and now regularly threatens me with it! If you think education is difficult, try being stupid!!! | ||
| Ourdee |
Nevr2old and Brinnutz, I was born and raised in Indiana. | ||
| Froggy |
Sorry to hear that | ||
| Hughlysses |
Much better and more timely parrot joke: A young man received a parrot as a gift. The parrot had a bad attitude and terrible vocabulary. Every word out of the parrot's mouth was rude and laced with profanity. The man attempted to change the bird's attitude by using only polite words and playing soft music, but to no avail. Finally the man was fed up, and he yelled at the parrot. The parrot yelled back. He shook the parrot, and the parrot got angrier and more rude. In desperation, the man grabbed the bird and put him in the freezer! For a few minutes the parrot squawked, kicked and screamed....and then suddenly there was total silence. Fearing that he had hurt the bird, the man quickly opened the door to the freezer. The parrot calmly stepped out and said, "I believe I may have offended you with my rude language and actions. I am sincerely remorseful for my inappropriate transgressions, and I intend to do everything I can to correct my unforgivable behavior." The man was stunned at the change in the bird's attitude and was about to ask the parrot what had caused such a dramatic adjustment in his behavior, when the bird continued, "May I ask what it was the Turkey did?" | ||
| Mr_grumpy |
An Irishman walks into a bar with a pig under his arm, & the barman says "where the hell did you get that?" "I won him in a raffle" replies the pig. |
