| Author | Message | ||
     Spiderman |
I am not a big fan or WalMart but the ol' lady likes to shop there once in a while. I like to make things interesting when I am dragged there but recently I received a warning letter regarding my actions.. Quote --------------------- Dear Mrs. ******, Over the past six months, your significant other has been causing quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and may ban both of you from our stores. We have documented all incidents on our video surveillance equipment. All complaints against Mr. Spidey are listed below. Things Mr. Spidey has done while his significant other was shopping in Walmart: 1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they weren't looking. 2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals. 3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the restrooms. 4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official tone, Code 3' in housewares..... and watched what happened. 5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and asked to put a bag of M&M's on layaway. 6. September 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area. 7. September 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told other shoppers he'd invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department. 8. September 23: When a clerk asks if they can help him, he begins to cry and asks, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?' 9. October 4: Looked right into the security camera; used it as a mirror, and picked his nose. 10. November 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, asked the clerk if he knows where the antidepressants are. 11. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme. 12. December 6: In the auto department, practiced his "Madonna look" using different size funnels. 13. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browse through, yelled "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!" 14. December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumes the fetal position and screams "NO ! NO! It's those voices again!!!!" And last, but not least .... 15. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, then yelled very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!" Regards, Walmart  | ||
| Daves |
I can actually see you doing some of those things! Especially the toilet paper one. | ||
| Jugallo94 |
Funny thing is I can actualy picture you doing that. | ||
| Jimidan |
 Boy, you ain't right... | ||
| Phantom5oh |
That's funny right there, I don't care who you are! | ||
| Nevrenuf |
VERY SICK(a man after my own heart)  | ||
| Firebolteric_ma |
Brilliant!!! | ||
| Rum_runner |
whats wrong with that i've done 2 or 3 of that list. just ask the wife she hates taking me out in public. spidey if i ever get up your way im going to look you. we'll get along just fine.  | ||
| Bomber |
am I the only one to think that the existance of Mrs Spidey is the most frightening part of the post? ;-} | ||
| Spiderman |
she's not Mrs yet, that's why I ****ed the name  | ||
| Motornoggin |
 | ||
| Kdan |
The condom one, the clock one and the Madonna one, I've done regularly. I like the idea of the hiding in the clothes rack plan...You left out trying on womens underwear over your clothes. That one will get you "requested to shop elsewhere" in Canton, Georgia. My kids don't like to go shopping with me. | ||
| Tq_freak |
Spidey - You rule dude. the most I ever got yelled at for was using a shoping cart as a pummel horse into the giant display of paper towels in Sams club. | ||
| Etennuly |
The wife works at one, I gotta be good or we don't eat.  | ||
| Cochise |
I must admit, I have never done any of those things... . . . . . . . . . . YET!! | ||
| Swampy |
The wife was agravating me one time while shopping in Walmart. At our Super Walmart they have benches that are placed back to back along the back promenade area. _ll_ So to enhance her shopping experience, with others watching, I jumped up straddling the bench backs waving my right hand over my head yelling "Ye Ha!, Ye Ha!" making a bucking motion. That didn't work either  | ||
| G234146 |
Spidey, your an artiste'  | ||
| Tbolt_pilot |
The 24 hr Super-Mega-Monster-Dyna-Whopping Wally Worlds are the best. I was the 3 AM tricycle pool noodle jousting champion in my hometown. I was also regularly spotted turning the La-zy Boys around towards the TV section in the next aisle and watching entire movies. But I admit, Spidey, you ARE the King of Wally World! | ||
| Newfie_buell |
I can see Spidey doing most of that stuff.... Thats the scary part. Walmart = The Evil Empire | ||
| Blake |
No, no, no Newf, you got it all wrong. It's not Walmart that is evil; it's just a discount store chain. Everyone knows that the real threat is the insurance industry. Insurance Industry = The Evil Empire Spidy, Thanks for the great laughs. Wonderful stuff for sure! Just one criticism: No fart or fart noise related escapades? | ||
| Borrowedbike |
Vote your buck. I pay more to shop elsewhere and Buy American. My personal favorite is to hold a big bag of Depends over my head and yell all the way down the isle "Honey, do you need more of your Diapers?" Doesnt get you removed form the store, but does give you a chance to sleep on the couch, which is sort of like camping! | ||
| Newfie_buell |
Hey Blake, Don't be dissin my industry!!!!! I'll send an angry moose after ya...... We are not evil just mis-understood... | ||
| Swampy |
A wrapped box of condoms at the churches annual White Elephant sale! I just passed a Manwich through my nose! | ||
| Hdbobwithabuell |
My wife says "no" I don't get to have any fun... | ||
| Blake |
Newf, Whose diss'n? I can respect a well-planned global conspiracy hinging upon the greed of some and the misery of most as much as anyone.  | ||
| Blackbelt |
Scary thing is, I have done some of those things.. and I got most of them from my Father in law, Spidy will attest to that, he has met him.. lol Hay Spidy wanna go to Wal Mart in Clio? lol Can't forget this one... Open a package of diapers, and wad them up randomly (like they were used) and place them around the store. (you can use chocolate syrup as an added tool) or just walk up to random shoppers, and say you are w/ Walmart Security, and need to inspect the contents of their cart for security reasons, then suddenly look up and ask them to remain in that spot so you can get your supervisor (I recommend takeing a sweatshirt or somethign to place over self after this episode)... (I have done this a couple of times in Meijers) lol good times | ||
| Mxer83 |
how about riding the bicycles around the store !!!!!!!!!! | ||
| Tdiddy |
In high school, we'ed bowl those HUGE cans of Aquanet down the isles. They'ed go all the way across the Kmart and slam into the metal shelving with a gaint KaBLAM!!! What ever we shot down the lanes always seemed to pick up speed. 2 liter soda bottles, cans of Spam, any thing solid. We sure thought we were having fun. The best is going down the slides at Mcdonald's Play land while sitting on 2 plastic tray's. One for your butt, the other for your feet. Nothing I've done feels as fast. | ||
| Bo_sox |
WalMart is the work of the Devil! Stay the Hell out of their stores! They're anti Union and refuse to use Union Labor to build their stores! F'em ! They don't get one dime of our families money! A family comprised of a Union Plumber and a SPIAA Union Boeing technician! My 2 cents and go Bo Sox in '07! | ||
| Swampy |
Plus they drive the local specialty retailer (who also provided service for that item) out of business by selling the bread and butter items at such discounts, making it necessary for those consumers looking for that specialty item to purchase them online. Buy something like a bicycle at Walmart, try to get something adjusted or buy a part for it from them. | ||
| Xbduck |
Hey Blake,  Newfie isn't the only one around here making a living in the insurance industry. I think engineers are conspiring against us. Why else does it take an electrical wizard to work on a vehicle manufactured after 1988, and yet we still can't get a normal production car over 40 mpg. Oh wait a minute that would be the oil companies or is it the big three car makers. Well shoot now I'm confused. It's all a conspiracy!! I still love ya Blake, I'm just yank'n your chain a little. | ||
| Old_bird |
Ummm? You recently received a letter. Hmmmm? Dec. 3, 6, 18, 21 & 23? Either your wallymart is really slow in writing or ..... your mailman is reallly slow or..... you're planning something.  Thanks for the laughs. | ||
| Brucelee |
Wal Mart operates legally and ethically. I guess I don't see the issue. If they break the law, they are prosecuted. If they don't, they are not. Next case please! | ||
| Lowflyer |
I'm anti-diaper industry. I think the diaper industry preys on innocent babies and old people. They charge absorbitent prices.  | ||
| Djkaplan |
Absorbitent prices... groan. Let me tell you about the time I was trapped in a WalMart bathroom with no toilet paper. It cost me three $1 bills to get the hell out of there - literally money down the crapper. |
