| Author | Message | ||
     Smitty808 |
There seems to be a lot of engineers here...I thought you guys might like this! (Don't feel bad, I do most of these too!!) You Might Be An Engineer If... The only jokes you receive are through e-mail At Christmas, it goes without saying that you will be the one to find the burnt-out bulb in the string Buying flowers for your girlfriend or spending the money to upgrade your RAM is a moral dilemma Everyone else on the Alaskan cruise is on deck peering at the scenery, and you are still on a personal tour of the engine room In college you thought Spring Break was a metal fatigue failure The salespeople at Circuit City can't answer any of your questions You are always late to meetings You are at an air show and know how fast the skydivers are falling You bought your wife a new CD ROM for her birthday You can quote scenes from any Monty Python movie You can type 70 words a minute but can't read your own handwriting You can't write unless the paper has both horizontal and vertical lines. You comment to your wife that her straight hair is nice and parallel. You forgot to get a haircut ... for 6 months You go on the rides at Disneyland and sit backwards in the chairs to see how they do the special effects You have Dilbert comics displayed anywhere in your work area You have ever saved the power cord from a broken appliance You have more friends on the Internet than in real life You have never bought any new underwear or socks for yourself since you got married You have used coat hangers and duct tape for something other than hanging coats and taping ducts You know what http:// actually stands for You look forward to Christmas only to put together the kids' toys You own one or more white short-sleeve dress shirts You see a good design and still have to change it You spent more on your calculator than on your wedding ring You still own a slide rule and you know how to work it You think that when people around you yawn, it's because they didn't get enough sleep You wear black socks with white tennis shoes (or vice versa) You window shop at Radio Shack You're in the back seat of your car, she's looking wistfully at the moon, and you're trying to locate a geosynchronous satellite You know what the function of a geosynchronous satellite is Your checkbook always balances Your laptop computer costs more than your car Your wife hasn't the foggiest idea what you do at work Your wrist watch has more computing power than a 300Mhz Pentium You've already calculated how much you make per second You've ever tried to repair a $5 radio | ||
| Blake |
I be so pwned by too many of those. | ||
| Stevasaurus |
Guilty as charged. | ||
| Diablobrian |
Except for: the fact I'm always early , My calculator cost considerably less than my wedding ring, I've seen a slide rule, but have no idea how to use one, I rarely wear shorts, and not with black socks, and the checkbook is almost never properly balanced. That IS me. I am working feverishly towards the goal of becoming a Buell engineer. College as an adult is an interesting experience. | ||
| Jlnance |
OMG - all but one exactly describe me. Are there really men here who buy their own underwear? | ||
| Kdan |
Some of us have to buy our own underwear. It's that or don't wear any. Try a winter ride and a cold zipper on your jeans. You learn to appreciate underwear. | ||
| Bigdaddy |
FMTYEWTK HHIS Guilty  G2 | ||
| Xring |
You mean everybody isn't like this? Thanks for the post...now I have something to email my friends today. Bill | ||
| Djkaplan |
Understanding Engineers - Take One Two engineering students crossing the campus when one said, "Where did you get such a great bike?" The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday minding my own business when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike. She threw the bike to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, "Take what you want." The first engineer nodded approvingly, "Good choice; the clothes probably wouldn't have fit." Understanding Engineers - Take Two To the optimist, the glass is half full. To the pessimist, the glass is half empty. To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be. Understanding Engineers - Take Three A pastor, a doctor and an engineer were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers. The engineer fumed, "What's with these guys? We must have been waiting for 15 minutes!" The doctor chimed in, "I don't know, but I've never seen such ineptitude!" The pastor said, "Hey, here comes the greens keeper. Let's have a word with him." "Hi George! Say, what's with that group ahead of us? They're rather slow, aren't they?" The greens keeper replied, "Oh, yes, that's a group of blind firefighters. They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let them play for free anytime." The group was silent for a moment. The pastor said, "That's so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for them tonight." The doctor said, "Good idea. And I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist buddy and see if there's anything he can do for them." The engineer said, "Why can't these guys play at night?" Understanding Engineers - Take Four What is the difference between Mechanical Engineers and Civil Engineers? Mechanical Engineers build weapons and Civil Engineers build targets. Understanding Engineers - Take Five "Normal people believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix it." Engineers believe that "if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough features yet" Understanding Engineers - Take Six An engineer was crossing a road one-day when a frog called out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess." He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket. The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will stay with you for one week." The engineer took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned it to the pocket. The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I'll stay with you and do ANYTHING you want." Again the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket. Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter? I've told you I'm a beautiful princess, and that I'll stay with you for a week and do anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?" The engineer said, "Look, I'm an engineer. I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog, now that's cool." | ||
| Punkid8888 |
I just got my hair cut last week and nobody recognizes me anymore, maybe they will in a few months | ||
| Jerseyguy |
My wife always laughs that we are all just like a bunch of Golden Retrievers .... | ||
| Oldog |
Dilbert cartoons described where I used to work quite well it was scarry!  | ||
| Wardan123 |
Enjoy!  | ||
| Sleez |
15 of them fit me! that's only 40.5%!!! | ||
| Doon |
Scary how many of them fit me. Yikes... | ||
| Court |
Man. . . the "saved a cord from a broken appliance" and "still have and use slide rule" hit damn close to home.! Great stuff! | ||
| Darthane |
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ You can't write unless the paper has both horizontal and vertical lines. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ One of my personal favorites. (I took WAAAAY to many drafting courses) | ||
| Pwnzor |
I'm not an engineer, but I've got a big pile of salvaged power cords, power supplies, IDE ribbon cables, drive bay rails, drive bay covers, cd jewel cases, various windows boot floppies, various other floppies, zip drives, 2000' of CAT-5, 1640' of Cat-6, 600' of coax, USB cables, Parallel cables, RJ-11's, RJ-45's, punch down blocks, breadboards, resistors, capacitors, video cards, motherboards, disk controllers, modems (cnr, pci and external)..... That's just the top of the pile I can SEE. Oh yeah also got a stack of Dilbert books right here.  | ||
| Jlnance |
You can't write unless the paper has both horizontal and vertical lines. My first engineering class at NCSU. The instructor holds up a pad of horz & vert lined paper and says, "your homework must be on this type of paper." I've used it ever since. | ||
| Pwnzor |
I wrote my wedding vows on a piece of 1/8" graph paper. | ||
| Tomd |
My boss just gave me a radio he was going to throw out, I know I can fix it... Oh, if anyone is looking for a couple of dual processor rack mount servers and a fiber channel disk array give me a shout, my wife is sick of the noise in the den.... Tom | ||
| Bigdaddy |
Tom, Now that's some funny stuff right there! (my Sendmail server is one of the older Dell CPUx2 w/ 3 pwr supplies and probably weighs in @ 200LBS or so.) They make great operational, bullet proof, servers if used properly. G2 | ||
| Tomd |
Bigdaddy, Oh those old Dell 4300's were great, I had a pair that were on wheels, when I got rid of them I got a bunch of co-workers together and we placed bets as to which one would make it the farthest down the dock without falling off. If your interested I'll give you a sweet deal on the rack mounts. IBM Netfinity 4500R's. | ||
| Bigdaddy |
Offer's appreciated, but no thank you sir. I just gave away 3 Nokia 550's to make some room. | ||
| Doon |
Well I have my own room which right now has my new NXT bots (and pieces of them laying around) that my wife lets me put "my stuff" in http://labratsoftware.com/home is what is around the house. My brother has a coffee table made out of out an AS400. That thing almost broke our backs trying to get it up the stairs. I think the drives where encased in lead. (Message edited by doon on September 01, 2006) | ||
| 99buellx1 |
That sounds like a fun offer, but it would probably cost more to ship them than it is worth. | ||
| Tomd |
Doon, Nice but where are your Citrix or Terminal server boxes? No PIX FW? No PoE switches and injectors/spliters? No ups's? I didn't see any Solaris boxes or a RAS/VPN server either and you call yourself a geek.....  | ||
| Doon |
Well I have been playing with some Xterms, just haven't added them to the drawing yet My play money has been going into the lightning as oppoesd to the pix, and my OBSD firewalls work very well. Citrix and Terminal services. I don't do windows very well (http://patrick.muldoon.us/?section=dream). My Netra is currently here at the office (http://www.inoc.net/gallery/main.php?g2_page=10) as I needed a solaris box to do some testing (it also runs OpenBSD depending on my mood). Who needs a vpn when I got ssh -X? As for being a geek, I do have a BSD daemon tattoo'd on one leg. | ||
| Diablobrian |
So I take it Doon thinks Bill is #1! | ||
| Slaughter |
Oh, if anyone is looking for a couple of dual processor rack mount servers and a fiber channel disk array give me a shout, my wife is sick of the noise in the den.... Tomd - not too hard to setup active noise-cancelling system... besides it's much better than keeping down the noise. | ||
| Dirty_jersey |
Being an engineer I can say most of these have some element of truth to them. But, I think most of these apply to most men in general. However, the one about the Circuit City sales rep not being able to answer my questions it 100% true. | ||
| Pwnzor |
We call it Circuit Sh*tty around here | ||
| Toona |
Around here it is "Self Service Sity", 'cause you can walk in, stand in the aisle for 15 minutes and not have a single sales person talk to you. Now I can't wait for Best Buy to open their new store soon. Sad part is Wally World has the Garmin C330 GPS $30.00 cheaper than either store. (Leaning towards the Lowrance IWay 350 or 550 though) | ||
| Pwnzor |
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| Notpurples2 |
Quite a few of those hit me dead on. What is the deal with engineers and Buells? Maybe it's being able to see all the working parts. Got another one for the list. when you were a kid you had more fun taking toys apart than playing with them. on the same note when you were a kid you destroyed a working remote control car to put the motor in your handmade lego car. (bonus points if the new car was still remote control.) |
