| Author | Message | ||
     Old_man |
> >IDLE THOUGHTS > > > >I planted some birdseed. > >A bird came up. > >Now I don't know what to feed it. > > > >I had amnesia once > >-- or twice. > > > >I went to San Francisco . > >I found someone's heart. > >Now what? > > > >Protons have mass? > >I didn't even know they were Catholic. > > > >All I ask is a chance to prove that > >money can't make me happy. > > > >If the world were a logical place, > >men would ride sidesaddle. > > > >What is a "free" gift? > >Aren't all gifts free? > > > >They told me I was gullible ... > >and I believed them. > > > >Teach a child to be polite and courteous > >in the home and, when he grow s up, > >he'll never be able to merge his car onto a freeway. > > > >Two can live as cheaply as one, > >for half as long. > > > >Experience is the thing you have left > >when everything else is gone. > > > >What if there were no hypothetical questions? > > > >The shampoo promised me extra body > >and I gained three pounds. > > > >One nice thing about egotists: > >They don't talk about other people. > > > >When the only tool you own is a hammer, > >every problem begins to look like a 20 penny nail. > > > >A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries. > > > >What was the greatest thing before sliced bread? > >Hmmmm? > > > >My weight is perfect for my height > >-- which varies. > > > >I used to be indecisive. > >Now I'm not sure. > > > >The cost of living hasn't affected its popularity > > > >How can there be self-help "groups"? > > > >Is there another word for synonym? > > > >Where do forest rangers go > >to "get away from it all"? > > > >The speed of time is one-second per second. > > > >Is it possible to be totally partial? > > > >What's another word for thesaurus? > > > >Is Marx's tomb a communist plot? > > > >If swimming is so good for your figure, > >how do you explain whales? > > > >It's not an optical illusion. > >It just looks like one. > > > >Is it my imagination, > >or do buffalo wings taste like chicken? > > > > > > > >"Light Travels Faster Than Sound. That's Why Some People Appear Bright > >Until You Hear Them Speak" | ||
| Tq_freak |
ROFL!!!  thank you I needed that after today. | ||
| Murdoch |
Whats a near miss ? If you nearly miss something dont you directly hit it ? | ||
| Murdoch |
I hate it when after a commercial break the newsreader says "Welcome back" I haven't gone anywhere, he is the one who went away & came back | ||
| Glitch |
The speed of time is one-second per second. Brilliant | ||
| Midknyte |
Why design something that is intended to hit things and call it a missle? | ||
| Kdan |
Why do they call them buildings if they're already built? Why do we call them apartments when they're so close together? Gotta love Stephen Wright & Gallagher. | ||
| Streetfightercityx |
Dick Cheney and George W. Bush were having breakfast at the White House . An attractive waitress asks Cheney what he would like , and he replies , " I'd like a bowl of oatmeal and some fruit . " "And what can I get for you , Mr . President ? " George W. replies with his trademark wink and slight grin , " How about a quickie this morning ? " "Why , Mr. President ! " the waitress exclaims- How rude ! You're starting to act like Mr. Clinton , and you've only been in your second term of office for a year ! " As the waitress storms away , Cheney leans over to Bush and whispers . . . " It's pronounced ' quiche ' " | ||
| Sparky |
If a car is "pre-owned", isn't it "new"? |
