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Borrowedbike
Posted on Friday, June 12, 2009 - 07:11 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only) Ban Poster IP (Custodian/Admin only)

Bear with me for a few minutes while I rant a little about decisions, and about compromise, and about responsibility. We all make decisions, we do it every day. It’s simple really, weigh the options and select the one that fits best. We use all the information available to us at the time and make a choice. Sometimes, it’s important and we even do a little research, and make an educated decision. Wow, think of the world we’d live in if everyone put in that kind of effort! Often, in fact very often, some of these decisions are compromises. We’ve all done it, it’s a requirement of life. Even if your filthy rich and a compromise for you is one less day in Monte Carlo so you don’t sail through a storm on your luxury yacht, you make compromises. But I digress, let’s bring it back to earth.

People refer to me as an all the gear all the time rider, but honestly I’m not. All the gear: Helmet, jacket and pants (Zipped together, OR maybe even a one piece, leather of course, textile isn’t as durable), CE armor, back protector, well fitting gloves with extra padding, stitching, perhaps even bits of fancy carbon fiber so they hold up in a crash, and good solid boots. I don’t wear that all the time. I’ll wear textile when it’s wet or cold. I’ll wear denim pants on a slow Sunday cruse with my wife on the back, or for a quick run to the parts store. No big deal right, don’t we all do this? I mean seriously, it’s not like I’m in flip flops and shorts, sporting a wife beater tee and capped off with a shorty half helmet! I understand the risk, honestly, I get it. I know if I go down in jeans, I can count on some road rash. I know when I ride with pads instead of the hard armor I’m taking a greater risk of breaking bones than when I have the hard goods in. These are the compromises we (OK, make that “I”. Certainly don’t want to speak for anyone else) make for comfort, convenience, and sometimes even cost.

Here is where responsibility comes in. How many of us have allowed a passenger on the back of our bike with anything less than ALL the gear? I have. My wife doesn’t even own textile pants, much less a set of leathers with CE armor, and I’d say she’s better equipped than the average date “we” throw on the back on a sunny summer afternoon. I had not previously really considered the responsibility I was taking on when I allowed this. Oh I thought about it; “These gloves will be a bit big but there good enough.” “You can’t ride in shorts, but throw on jeans and it will be good enough.” Or “Those shoes are good enough.” Guess what, when we put passenger on the back, we are completely responsible for them. We should not be allowing passengers to make decision about something they are uneducated about. And let’s face it, they don’t have the understanding of the gear we have. You’re here, reading this, you educate yourself about our sport. Does your passenger? Let’s ask the question a different way, “want to go for a ride on the back of someone else’s bike?” Probably not, and certainly not in a light load of gear! God forbid anything go wrong two up, but if it does, the person up front is completely responsible. We, as the rider, own every action and every outcome. Absolutely everything.

My daughter and I went for a ride last Sunday and she fell off the back of daddies motorcycle. I don’t really know why. I wasn’t on the gas very hard, we were moving in a straight line, we’d even ridden faster and harder earlier that day! Did she let go? Did she twist to look behind her? I don’t know and I don’t care, it’s MY fault. The same as if we’d been at a stop sign and were rear ended by a drunk with no brakes. I was at the controls and I was utterly and ultimately responsible for my passenger. It’s one of the most horrible experiences of my life, and I’m responsible for it.

Here is what I learned, in short concise terms. My daughter was in a helmet, chest and back protector, gloves, jeans, and sturdy shoes. That’s probably more than many outfit their kids in for a gently paced Sunday ride. It was not enough, nowhere near enough. The jeans didn’t rip, but there’s road rash on a knee. The chest and back protector did its job, thank god, but I had her in a hoodie over it, not leather, and there’s road rash an on elbow and a big spot of it on her abdomen. I suspect a well fitting leather jacket would have prevented this. I’ll never be sure, but (pay attention here) I will always wish to god she’d been in one. The gloves were too big and came off, and her hands were skinned, I remember seeing her holding her hands up in front of her crying. It took less than a second to comprehend that MY decisions had caused HER pain and suffering. All of these gear shortages were decisions I made, each of them a compromise, each another contributing factor I’m responsible for. That’s a hard thing to deal with when you pick your daughter up off the pavement and begin to carry her. Harder still when you lay her on the table in the ER, and when you sit up all night in a hospital room with her.

I’m not going to pass judgment on anyone, everyone reading this is responsible for their own decisions and compromises. I will however suggest that you remember this, if only for a fleeting second, the next time you put someone behind you. I made compromises on gear, and I’m paying the consequences. My daughter is fine, but honestly, I’m not.
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Ravens_voice
Posted on Saturday, June 13, 2009 - 11:26 am:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only) Ban Poster IP (Custodian/Admin only)

Well Put! I have been considering buying gear for my wife and even the children and was weighing the fact that the children are growing and will out grow the gear. Which started me thinking about compromises. I will wait for them to grow old enough to buy their own gear and ride along side. As for my wife, for the once a year ride Im going to make sure she has leather. Thanks Paul you have helped me answer some of my concerns about my family riding and I need an equipment upgrade.
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Slimdave
Posted on Saturday, June 13, 2009 - 12:39 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only) Ban Poster IP (Custodian/Admin only)

A BIG GET WELL SOON to her. I have always tried to talk parents into buying the best gear for kids. I know that I needed and used a lot of it. My mother bought me a Bell Star helmet in 1974, I have only use the best since then. It has paid for itself many times over.
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Pskippy
Posted on Sunday, June 14, 2009 - 03:42 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only) Ban Poster IP (Custodian/Admin only)

Sorry about the accident. Let me just say, since street riding for more than 30 years, NOTHING effects handling, braking, safety and your chances for survival like a passenger on a motorcycle. I don't do it, never liked doing it and I removed the passenger peg struts on my XB12scg the day I bought it. The compromise really is not quality of gear, but do I do it or not. I realize it's fun to ride with your kids but if they're too young to ride next to you on the street, get a couple of dirt bikes and go have fun. Besides, if I didn't have years of dirt riding experience before I hopped on my first RD350 Yamaha, I would have died when I was 18 on a street bike!
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Aatch
Posted on Monday, June 15, 2009 - 12:04 am:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only) Ban Poster IP (Custodian/Admin only)

paul -
as the father of a 2 year old daughter, i can only empathize with the guilt, and the horror of what you must have been through. i cant even begin to imagine having to carry my daughter off the pavement because she's hurt, much less if she was hurt because something i did....all i can say is my thoughts are with you, and my heart aches for you - i know your daughter is fine, and i'm very happy to hear that, but that must have been hell for you!
i know i sold my Buell, and got a Triumph, and i haven't ridden with most if you for a looong time - but i still troll the board, to keep up with what you all are up to (i hope to be able to join up for a ride at least once this summer) so when i read this, i just felt i had to reply! glad to hear all is well with you and your daughter, and again, my thoughts are with you and your family as you go through what must be a pretty emotional time.
toby
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Borrowedbike
Posted on Monday, June 15, 2009 - 09:52 am:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only) Ban Poster IP (Custodian/Admin only)

Toby!

Thanks Bro, She's in great shape, so no worries there. Thanks for the good wishes, and quit being a stranger! Haven't seen you in a while.
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2008xb12scg
Posted on Tuesday, October 12, 2010 - 04:50 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only) Ban Poster IP (Custodian/Admin only)

First off, it's very obvious that you're a good dad and love your daughter. You put her in more gear than most anybody I know does thier passengers. So don't be to hard on yourself. But if it's any consolation I have bought my wife a jacket, gloves and helmet. Not after reading this I think she's going to get pants as well. And she hasn't even been on the bike, yet. Most importantly I hope everything is ok with your daughter. I noticed the date, how about an update?
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