| Author | Message | ||
     Court |
Well, it had to happen. Fate was not to be denied and yesterday, Saturday May 29, 2004, Henrik and I ended up in a Home Depot TOGETHER. The week started mundanely enough with me chasing New York City's power problems and Henrik tending to his patients. Blackouts and broken bones served to protect Gotham from the inadvertent "crossing of streams" when multiple Team Elves folks end up in an Ace Hardware or Home Depot together. It was Henrik's recent home acquisition that tossed the wrench in the works of Homeland Security when he bought a BBQ. The supplier laughed at delivering it to his place in Queens, but agreed to my place in Staten Island. Anything Henrik and I did to complicate this paled, at this point in the process, to the communications as Rosie, not all that fluent in the English language, tried to explain "set it NEAR, not ON the BMW motorcycle". Cool, eh? Simple plan. It would be on my patio, I just stuff it in the back of the truck and haul it to Case-de-Dane. Henrik, ordinarily a stickler for detail, had omitted one thing, I found carrying out my pledge to deliver it in the wee hours and return home before Vick even knew I was gone, that it weighed like 429#. I am in the process of rigging an improvised ramp, fashioned from an 8' folding table laid from the patio to the bed of the tall pickup. The idea is to sprinkle it (stop laughing Josh) with baby powder and rig a pulley system. A series of near catastrophic failures reminded me that there is no substitute for throwing money at a problem. "Vamos aqui"....I yelled to a couple of the landscapers clad in leaf blowers across the street. "Tu quiero un poco dinero?" "Si...si....." Out came the $5 spots and in went was now appearing to be an early version of a U. S. Steel blast furnace. Getting to Queens was easy and I am proud to report that when I arrived I found Melissa doing all the work and Henrik on his butt. He, a conscribe to the Bomber/Road Thing/Court Method of Home Improvement, shows a keen grasp of the basic principles. Well, we took time to snap these.....   Up until now, things were fine when we decided "hey, Home Depot's only 5 minutes away" and Henrik needed a cylinder of propane. We were doomed. We arrived to find the kind of crowd you can only produce in NYC on a Saturday. Almost immediately Henrik and I spot a 40' semi loaded with propane cylinders.... this was a foreshadowing of the future. We go inside, spend time lusting in the electrical section dreaming of the damage we could do, then head to outdoor grill tools to evaluate a variety of things that seem capable of either flipping burgers or serving as a marital aid...geeeesh. We go to check out and Henrik tells the gal "oh and I need......" She interrupted "...a gas cylinder, outside?" Yes, he said, quite amazed as she asked, "did you leave your return?" Seeing a chance to contribute to her knowledge of my pal the Dane, I declare, "He's a gas virgin. This is his first cylinder". She beamed as she proudly equipped Henrik with a supply of flammable gas. I knew my warnings would be wasted and decided to hold my tongue. Well, I was doing well keeping my mouth shut until we are waiting in the endless "show your receipt to the security guy in the bad fitting jacket". Some guy skips right around everyone in line, stuffs his receipt in the guys face and prances toward the door. I should not have, but just as the alarm sounded I yelled, louder than intended "STOP THIEF" which cued the laughter of the entire line of by-passed shoppers. The guy turned, looking rightfully ticked at having been made a fool by his bad manners. Anyway, we survived the day and I think it best to leave out the part of the story about the D.E.A., the CI (Confidential Informant) and Jose' having a current top-secret clearance and being cleared to receive the confidential report. Remind me to tell you someday.....  Court | ||
| Peter |
You losin' weight there Henrik.....? | ||
| Paulinoz |
"You losin' weight there Henrik.....?" No it's just his shorts that make his butt look big. | ||
| Road_thing |
I am inspired to fire up my own barbecue and grill some pechugas de pollo while swilling cerveza in the glorious Houston springtime! Pics may follow if there are any sober survivors to the upcoming Bachanalian feast... r-t | ||
| Road_thing |
 | ||
| Henrik |
You losin' weight there Henrik.....? Stress and home renovation will do that to ya' Paul ... can you see how many fingers I'm holding up ... and which finger ??  r.t. I like your set-up - palm trees and everything. Btw. the new grill was christened Saturday night. Worked great - and provided the first cooked meal since we moved in at the end of February ... maybe pulling out both kitchens right away wasn't such a great idea ...  Henrik | ||
| Peter |
Ummm.... you're not doing any surgical work at your day job are you? | ||
| Henrik |
So, Peter, you're saying the "clean sheet" approach would *not* be appropriate in surgery  Gotta keep that in mind. Henrik | ||
| Henrik |
Behold the Behemoth ...  and I'm of course referring to the grill ... not me Henrik edited by Henrik on June 01, 2004 | ||
| Peter |
Cool barby! Still think we'd get a few steaks outta you though..... | ||
| Road_thing |
Funny, you look Danish to me! ...nice grill, though... r-t | ||
| Road_thing |
Court, just for the record, the Road Thing Method for home improvement involves me sitting on my butt watching the Child Bride write checks to various home improvement contractors. She occasionally asks my opinion on colors and stuff, but that's pretty much the extent of my involvement. Life is good! r-t | ||
| Henrik |
r.t. yeah, cool shirt - I should have turned a bit to really show it off. Henrik | ||
| Road_thing |
Sure enough--didn't notice that the first time! I hope you spilled some beer & BBQ sauce on it to "season" it... r-t | ||
| Paulinoz |
Henrik good to see you are dressing sensible ie: very lose fitting cloths that can cover a multitude of sins. Forget your stakes go for a de-boned leg of lamb rolled in rosmary, garlic,sea salt and olive oil. BBQ whole slice very rare and served atop a ceaser salad and of course Oz red only way to live. | ||
| Court |
>>>She occasionally asks my opinion on colors and stuff I'm betting her to be smarter than that..... You've seen our place....I am allowed as far North as the basement door....it shows, eh? Court | ||
| Road_thing |
I'm betting her to be smarter than that..... I didn't say she actually TAKES my advice, did I? And your basement looks a lot like my garage. I'm going to steal Bomber's line and refer to that area as my own personal entropy lab...  r-t | ||
| Henrik |
hey - Paul ...  r.t. nice garage - Very nice bike. Henrik | ||
| Road_thing |
Henrik, knowing your penchant for organization, I figured that picture would put you into serious reverse peristalsis... ...but thanks! r-t | ||
| Henrik |
r.t. the therapy is working (it had to, the way the house looks these days) without it I'd be in constant stupor. Henrik | ||
| Bomber |
H - - - -great lookin grill . . . . .it needs some burn and blast marks on it though . . .. .way to clean . . . . . . seared up some lamb kabob-like thingies over the weekend for the extended family . . . .. (cept for the gentleman my seester-in-law lives with . . .. won't consider lamb, silly boy, so we made him some oatmeal) . . . . . . and, just as a data point, I never said I "improved" my home . . . . just that I worked on it ;-}  remind me to tell you, Court, about my loading the old Yamaha FLattracker into the the truck using an old door as a ramp . . . . and how long it took my lovely and telented wife to figure out she should return to the old house to see what was holding me up (not much, by that time) . . . I would recommend 50 weight in stead of talc in the future . . . but, knowing your propensity for affixing God's most noble creatures to vehicals, I am loath to send you off armed with anything liguid and non-potable edited by bomber on June 02, 2004 | ||
| Court |
>>>>knowing your propensity for affixing God's most noble creatures to vehicals That is so unfair. I glue one dog to a Saab and now I'm labeled for life...sort of a caninian habitchual Arfender? I am sooooooooooooooooooooo labled! Court | ||
| Henrik |
Thanks Bomber - keep in mind that the grill is brand new - it'll dirty up soon enough. I'm with you on the home "improvement" front - I'm just working, didn't promise improvement. Court - you're killing me ... Henrik | ||
| Paulinoz |
Henrik we got acustom down here when a bloke does the "M" thing we stick stuff on his car, how may dogs and tubes of supper glue can muster up for October. | ||
| Henrik |
Ohhh, Paul, now you've got me thinking ... my neighbor has a couple of cats that I'd be more than happy to donate Henrik | ||
| Road_thing |
An armadillo might look pretty good on the hood of that F250... r-t | ||
| Henrik |
Since everyone knows armadillo's are born dead - it sure would stink up the ride I'm all for it. Henrik | ||
| Road_thing |
Henrik, if I shipped you a frozen 'dillo, could you store it until October?  r-t | ||
| Henrik |
I'm afraid that may put Melissa over the edge - bikes in the living room ... OK. Dillo's in the freezer ... not so OK - with the Leprosy and all that. But I'll ask Henrik | ||
| Paulinoz |
If RT is shipping Dillo's I am positive we could muster up a couple of dead Roo's to add that international flavour to the smell. |
