| Author |
Message |
    
Road_Thing
| | Posted on Monday, October 21, 2002 - 08:50 pm: | 
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"It's a long story">>>
Is there any other kind in your world, Court? If the stories weren't so damned entertaining I'd be tempted to go troll ebay for Buell parts. But listening to "Home Alone chez Canfield" is cheaper and more fun!
r-t |
Road_Thing
| | Posted on Monday, October 21, 2002 - 08:51 pm: |
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"exonerates Jack"
...yeah, explains his absence, too...and the burn marks on the walls...
r-t |
Ferris
| | Posted on Monday, October 21, 2002 - 09:06 pm: |
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My solace lies in resigning myself to...I'm not Ferris
sigh, if i had a dollar for everytime i've heard someone say that, i'd take Bill Gates to lunch and I'D PICK UP THE TAB!
i'm even thinking of marketing a line of clothing. maybe t-shirts to start? "I'M NOT FERRIS!"
i can even see ol' Gee Dub using this for his slogan in the next presidential campaign.
can you imagine the next business conference you attend, and everybody's wearing name-tags that say "Hi, I'm NOT Ferris"???
MY only solace in all of this is knowing that the only "action" you're likely to be getting anytime soon will either be from a dog who dearly hates you, or from an inmate who thinks you've got a nice ass.
FB  |
Court
| | Posted on Monday, October 21, 2002 - 09:18 pm: |
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"It's a long story">>>
Is there any other kind in your world, Court?
Road Thing.....please don't do this. I wrote, late last night, a "short story" entitled
"I'd like to apologize for the recent public appearance of my penis"
When you ask for me to write about something "short", I almost posted it here.
Anyone who was at Aaron's already knows this story....
Court (do NOT get me started ) |
Road_Thing
| | Posted on Monday, October 21, 2002 - 10:05 pm: |
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Just in case this gets (further) out of hand, let the record show that I didn't ASK you to write about ANY THING, of ANY LENGTH.
However, it's apparent that you have a gift and I for one am delighted that you're willing to share it with us.
Post the short story, please, but spare us the illustrations...
r-t |
Kerryx1
| | Posted on Monday, October 21, 2002 - 11:42 pm: |
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Court, After all is said and done, How was the hamburger???
Ole Baldie |
Josh
| | Posted on Monday, October 21, 2002 - 11:48 pm: |
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Damn, Court your adventures even got Kerry out of hiding! |
Kerryx1
| | Posted on Tuesday, October 22, 2002 - 12:29 am: |
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I really didn't come out of hiding. Down here at the Jersey shore, I smelled a faint odor of fresh paint carried by molecules of charred hamburger. Upon going outside, you could hear the faint Kansas accent saying something about "Damned Pussy". I didn't put two and two together until I realized the wind was out of the North and remembered Court is in NYC.
Ole Baldie
X1's gone with X ole lady
S3's back under construction |
Blake
| | Posted on Tuesday, October 22, 2002 - 02:40 am: |
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If a picture is worth a thousand words...
 |
Kerryx1
| | Posted on Tuesday, October 22, 2002 - 07:01 am: |
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Yup, I didn't think there were any garage doors in Kansas either! |
Anonymous
| | Posted on Tuesday, October 22, 2002 - 10:06 am: |
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Hey Court, zip up there buddy. |
Road_Thing
| | Posted on Tuesday, October 22, 2002 - 11:19 am: |
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Well, I'm not quite as speechless as I had feared I might be. I was envisioning a, umm, larger exposure, one worthy of a short story, at least.
But Court, do check the ol' barn door before you go shopping for kitchenware!
r-t |
Court
| | Posted on Tuesday, October 22, 2002 - 02:21 pm: |
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No time for details. We are in the final 29 hours remaining to get this place in shape and I'm off for din-din with Henrik and Frank this evening.
I have one quick observation, one question and one request.
OBSERVATION: The heated supple soft "glove" leather seats of a Saab 9-3 are very effective at removing gray paint from the bottom of a dogs paws.
QUESTION: Does anyone have a suggestion for getting gray floor paint off supple soft "glove" leather seats of a Saab 9-3?
REQUEST: I do not speak Spanish. Do any of you? If so. . how do you say "Rosita, here's $100 in cash to clean this place up, get out and keep your mouth shut"
I need answers quick, my life is beginning to pass before my eyes.
Court |
Josh
| | Posted on Tuesday, October 22, 2002 - 02:34 pm: |
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Court, I think Porter-Cable makes a belt sand... uhm I mean leather polisher you could try.
Mariabelen says to tell Rosita:
Rosita mira toma estos $100 compra mucha comida y mucha bebida, Invita a toda tu familia a mi casa este fin de semana para celebrar a lo grande |
Bomber
| | Posted on Tuesday, October 22, 2002 - 02:42 pm: |
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Court
when working in the non-contact coding industry (the machine that put those use codes on bottles of ketchup and the like), I learned that washing your hair would remove damn near anything from your fingers (untanned leather?) without transferring it to your hair . . . .
ya might want to lather up and . . . .. . .
on second thought, there's a product called "amodex" that fountain pen joints sell from removing ink from the previously mentioned untanned leather . .. i've used it with some success on the ford's leather (course, now that sabb's part of gm, it'll likely void your warranty) |
Court
| | Posted on Tuesday, October 22, 2002 - 03:16 pm: |
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John:
That's great....I'll wash my hair...yeah...and the dog. The first problem, and it's becoming more than simply academic as my appointment to pick Henrik up, is how to remove the frickin' dog from the seat.
Is this Ammoniadex stuff something that would irritate his paws?
At this point the best option seems to take a 14mm socket, remove the seat from the car and place the seat (w/attached dog) in the shower and shampoo both of them.
The balance of my problems are rapidly fading into obscure insignificance as this one seems quite difficult to blame on Jack. What?...he glued himself to the car with a construction grade adhesive?
Gotta run....clocks ticking.....
 |
Bomber
| | Posted on Tuesday, October 22, 2002 - 03:19 pm: |
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amodex won't hurt him, court . . . ..
btw, I've got a hammock in my garage . . . Chicago might be a good enough head start |
Road_Thing
| | Posted on Tuesday, October 22, 2002 - 03:34 pm: |
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Court: Soak the seat of a pair of fine wool slacks in mineral spirits, then put them on and rub the affected seat(s) with them. If (when) that doesn't get the paint off, just drop the Slaab off at the dealer's for new upholstery while you're shopping for saucepans and Persian rugs.
Dude, you are well & truly fuct! If Chicago is within the estimated radius of total destruction, Houston may be safe. You're welcome here, as long as you keep your britches zipped up...
Buena Suerte, amigo...
r-t |
Hans
| | Posted on Tuesday, October 22, 2002 - 03:55 pm: |
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Court:
1: Painters brush cleanser.
2: Just let Rosita in, give her the bucks and shut the door behind you. She will know what to do. No need to point to all the details: She might get hopeless.
Hans |
Bads1
| | Posted on Tuesday, October 22, 2002 - 04:09 pm: |
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Court
Check my post on general discssions and then check my profile for what I do for a living I'll try not to steer you wrong. |
Hans
| | Posted on Tuesday, October 22, 2002 - 04:16 pm: |
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Court, please, keep the lid on the bottle of the paint brush cleanser: Hand it over to Rosita !! |
Davegess
| | Posted on Tuesday, October 22, 2002 - 04:39 pm: |
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You all think thi sis funny but I have known Court a long time and have realised that is stories are true. We may have to start two funds, one to pay Court's medical bills and the other to bail Vic out of jail.
Dave |
Court
| | Posted on Tuesday, October 22, 2002 - 04:47 pm: |
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Father G: You recall the ugly "ceiling fan?" I have that in the 1995 archives. I read it a couple months ago and, even nearly having it memorized, darn near spewed.
True....the dogs, sirens, guns, the WORKS!
I am a reporter and an innocent victim, not a story teller.
Josh, Give my heartfelt thanks to Mariabelen. For what it's worth, Rosita seems thrilled with the idea of cleaning the joint for the "C Note". I rambled that stuff off Mariabelen provided and I've never seen her so happy as when she dashed out the door. You'd thinking cleaning for a living....well, heck....to each their own.
Off to meet Henrik and Frank Ammerman to give him a tour of Times Square.
Court |
Mikej
| | Posted on Tuesday, October 22, 2002 - 04:54 pm: |
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I think Court's going to have house guests when he returns from the city. I'm not bilingual, but I do a fair guesstimated transliteration.
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Bomber
| | Posted on Tuesday, October 22, 2002 - 04:57 pm: |
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yeah, I think that was Spanish for "kegger at Court's" |
Court
| | Posted on Tuesday, October 22, 2002 - 05:16 pm: |
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Geeesshhhhh...I'm late and now I am PISSED.
Riiiiiiiiiiiiiing
.
.
Riiiiiiiiiiiiiing
.
.I'm outside in the yard....
Riiiiiiiiiiiiiing
.
.Bolt inside:
Court: "Hello"
Called: "is this 212-555-1212?
Court: "Yes it is. May I help you?"
Caller: "This is the Queens County Domestic Animal Abuse Hotline returning Mr. Jack's Call"
Court: Whhhhhhhhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa ?
.
.
.
There are "Canine Crisis Intervention Counselors" enroute as I type this. I am outta here.
Court |
Whatever
| | Posted on Tuesday, October 22, 2002 - 06:56 pm: |
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Court,
I just got some really bad news today on top of a really bad situation I got myself into... and there is 8 inches of snow on the ground and falling.
So thanks for making me laugh out loud. Does Jack have a preference blonde or brunette? I might be able to fix him up if you can get the paint out of his hair.
Charlotte |
Court
| | Posted on Wednesday, October 23, 2002 - 06:25 pm: |
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Josh:
WHO are these people at my house and what does "Yo quiero mas dinera esso oaa beeo" mean?
Things were going quite well and I have to run but does anyone know if a dog can be DNA tested? We had an ugly little incident in the home stretch.
I was washing Jack, in the shower, and left to answer the phone. I heard something hit the floor and walked back in just as he was finishing off the last 100mg tablet of Pfizer's Finest Blue Recreational Drug.
I'm trying like heck to get off the phone when he dissappears from sight. About 5 minutes later, Roberto, the neighbor, is standing at the door holding Becca's Ferret, as the screamin' 9-year old stood next to him and he screamed "she's scarred for life".
Basically, he'll survive but I've been warned in the event of a litter of web foot Ferrets, I'm going to be on the receiving end of a paternity suit.
All things considered we've survied reasonably well. Thanks to you for keeping us occupied and regardless of what you may think about Jack and I we are less of a threat than Henrik, Frank, MikeyP, Cecil and the rest of the Tri-State Trash wandering Gotham bars this evening.
I'm gone.
Court |
Ferris
| | Posted on Wednesday, October 23, 2002 - 08:38 pm: |
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might i suggest that any offspring from said coupling be named "Ferrets Bueller?"
hey, it was just a suggestion...
FB |
Road_Thing
| | Posted on Wednesday, October 23, 2002 - 09:47 pm: |
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Oh, geez, that's gotta be worth a patch fine...
r-t |
Blastin
| | Posted on Thursday, October 24, 2002 - 04:42 pm: |
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Court it is almost 24 hours after deadline. Are you conscious, in exile, or still in hiding? |
Josh
| | Posted on Thursday, October 24, 2002 - 05:21 pm: |
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Court,
I asked Mariabelen, who said something that sounded suspiciously like:
hee hee hee hee hee
 |
Newfie_Buell
| | Posted on Thursday, October 24, 2002 - 09:29 pm: |
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Court,
I can offer a couple seats from a 89 Saab 900, the only problem is they are beige and cloth. Of course I don't mind leather with a small bit of paint on them. |
Kerryx1
| | Posted on Thursday, October 24, 2002 - 09:40 pm: |
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Court,
When she gets home, just tell her the truth. She'll never believe you anyway. Besides, she wouldn't expect any less from you. She knows you to well! Heh Heh!
Kerry |
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