| Author | Message | ||
     Hooper |
I can't believe it, but I think I might be dropping the big diamond bomb on my girl in the next 30-45 days. She gets a big ring, but what (aside from a wonderful, precious, darling princess) do I get? I haven't ridden it (yet), but I think I've fallen in deep smit with the 1125CR. So hey, if I dump several grand on a tiny little ring, why shouldn't I dump a little bit of my credit on something very cool for me? Anyone out here in BB&D Land made sure to reward himself after making sure he got the right ring for her? Yeah, I could post this on the 1125 forum, but I think the best/most cycnical Buellers are here. | ||
| Skinstains |
Hoop, DON'T DO IT ! It never works. All you are doing is signing a legal document that promises her 1/2 of all you have and will ever get once you start to hate each other (in a few short years). Take the ring money and spend it on your-self. Or at best get her a Blast. | ||
| Ft_bstrd |
Don't listen Hoop. I've been married for 12 years. Best decision of my life. The CR sounds reasonable to me. | ||
| Rr_eater |
I told my now wife, that the one thing in life I truly loved (then) was riding, and I would always ride, one way or another. 16 years later, I have had 6 bikes, and we are still married, so you never know. I just pray she never makes me choose, as I would surely miss her. Bruce | ||
| Andrejs2112 |
What do you get? A wife and hopefully a best friend. | ||
| Seanp |
I spent every last dime I had on a ring when I bought it, but I think it resulted in the best reward ever for myself. Get the bike later - concentrate on getting the fiancee now. Oh, and a word of advice - don't ask her in front of a bunch of other people, and don't make asking her part of another holiday, like wrapping the ring in a Christmas present or something... | ||
| Ratbuell |
From my experience: I proposed very off the cuff (even I wasn't really expecting it, right then), at home, and she said yes. We'd only known each other for about 12 years at that point...I guess it *was* about time. We went to Key West, by ourselves, spent a week, took a sunset cruise and got married on the boat. 30 knot winds and 5' seas - what a start (nobody got seasick)! But the lack-of-family/crowd/bickering/politics - priceless. It was *our* wedding, we did what *we* wanted. And, we did it on St. Patrick's Day - my redheaded McLaughlin wife, and our...um....rather Irish drinking habits  conspired to get us a date that even my bonehead memory couldn't forget! Best decision I ever made. The only reason I still have a life, and a house, and personal property after the accident this summer, is her. She's a rock, and I wonder every day why she picked me. My advice, though - if you want the bike, but think it'll make waves...get it first. That makes it part of the "fiancee package", and not "our first big purchase"  | ||
| Ft_bstrd |
My advice, though - if you want the bike, but think it'll make waves...get it first. That makes it part of the "fiancee package", and not "our first big purchase" Yep. After the ring, everything is a combined decision. Not a bad thing. Just the way it is (if you plan to stay married for long that is). | ||
| Pirnie |
Hey Hoop, I've been married for twenty years and it's been three of the happiest years of my life. Get the ring. Get the bike. Share your passion. | ||
| Old_mil |
Marriage is a wonderful institution. The divorce that follows, less so. 75% of all divorces in America are filed by females. Get the bike - skip the wife. | ||
| Babired |
Get the bike first then surprise her with the ring a week or 2 after. Wouldn't look good if you did both at the same time, unless she rides.  | ||
| Garyz28 |
Remember, if you get the bike before you are married it's not considered community property. | ||
| Electraglider_1997 |
Don't get sucked into the whole DeBeers diamond scam. If the gal wants to marry you it shouldn't hinge on some bauble of dubious value. You think Buells devalue when you ride them off the dealer lot then you gotta know that over priced ring becomes worthless the moment the jewelry store unloads it on you. Who ever heard of a jewelry store EVER giving back a dime on a used ring. Buy her a gold band and use the money saved to put into the house you are going to share. If she needs the big diamond to show off then she has a flaw that'll only grow as time wears on. Money in the bank is way more useful than worthless jewelry. If she agrees with what I have written then you got a keeper if not then good luck with paying on sparkly junk. | ||
| Wheelybueller |
I BOUGHT A SMALL USED RING,I WAS BROKE. SHE STILL WEARS THAT THING EVERY DAY 20 YEARS,I DAUGHTER IN COLLEGE LATER WE ARE STILL BEST FRIENDS. GOOD LUCK WITH YOUR DECISION.  | ||
| Chadhargis |
Hoop, With over 50% of all marriages ending in divorce, you've got a half and half shot of making the marriage work. Would I bet on a team if they only had 49% chance of winning...probably not. But I'm married, and I like riding, so I guess I'm a risk taker. Let me offer this sage advice from a guy who got back into riding AFTER I got married. Whatever you bring into the marriage will be acceptable, since you can always play the "If you didn't like that then you shouldn't have married me" card. Once you get married, you are then obligated to consider your wife's feelings for EVERYTHING you do. Believe me, there are times when I sit at home on a beautiful weekend day staring out the window wishing I could ride, but I'd been traveling all week for work, and I know it would hurt my wife's feelings if I took off on an all day ride. When you get married, there is no more "I", it becomes "We". You have to accept that. Marriage is a compromise, give and take, and if you plan on riding, and having a bike or a collection of bikes, you'd better start before you get married. Otherwise, like Fatty said, it will be a marital decision. And you know, it works both ways. Be prepared for the "me too" reciprocation if you ever do anything your wife doesn't fully support. For example, you buy a new bike, when your wife thinks you should keep the one you have. Figure that decision just cost you double, because she'll start shopping for tennis bracelets, luxury cruises, new wardrobe, etc....because she can now say, "Well, if we can afford a new motorcycle for you, then we can take a European vacation". In many cases, she will have no desire to actually purchase what she's proposing, she's just making a point. That's when you go buy the bike, argue about it, sleep in the guest room for a couple of days, have make up sex (a few times), and enjoy your bike. LOL! | ||
| Dr_greg |
I courted Mrs. Greg on my '73 RD350, so she knew what she was getting into. Four boys later, after 34 years of marriage, she's still my best friend. So I say CONGRATULATIONS!!!! And don't forget the kids. Responsible people (oops!) should be having kids... | ||
| Chadhargis |
Ah yes....kids. I only have one, but she's the center of my world. Wouldn't trade her for anything. | ||
| Sachmo |
Get a synthetic diamond and a 1125 for the same price as a mined diamond. Then you even have money to get her a nice bike also. These are not "fake" but they are made in a lab and they are way they are shown to not be mined is the fact that they are too clear and flawless. http://www.diamondnexuslabs.com/whydiamondnexus.ph p Oh, if she goes for the ring/bike deal you got yourself a winner. I'm going on 25 years, it has been a roller-coaster at times but I wouldn't change it for the world. | ||
| 99savage |
After 40 years married will tell you the same things I told my son. 1. Do the ciphering – against every measure you are better off married – especially THAT measure. 2. Never let your wife find your ciphering. If she finds those sheets then THAT goes away for a long time. Wasn’t riding when got married but if firearms are any analogy: • Have a ride when you get married. • Immediately after getting married get another one. • Then - now you really need to screw up your courage –after not too long get still another one. Unless she is really into scooters it will become “all those motorcycles” & you can get anything you want because she will not know what you have. You can add subtract, buy, sell & trade. – Worked for firearms but bikes take up more space. You are doing well – Tho the advice on the diamond might be sage. Did not have a choice in my life. Can’t buy much of a rock on E-3 pay. | ||
| Ulywife |
The size of a diamond doesn't equate to how much you love her. Buy what you are comfortable paying for. M2nc and I have been married for 19 years. We have three children. He didn't ride up until 5 years ago. Ask him who put down the deposit on his first bike. He had to either go and pick up the deposit or the bike. The choice was his. Needless to say, he came home with his first motorcycle. Compromise and communication are two key factors to a successful marriage. Like someone said above, it's been a roller coaster ride at times, but I wouldn't give him up for the world. | ||
| Hooper |
Great advice from all sides, especially about the cost of a ring. When it comes down to it, it really just needs to look nice and last. Or wait, what am I talking about? As far as my other dilemma, I think I'd do better if I sold the other two clunkers sitting out under covers before I add another one. Five bikes - two of which don't run - wouldn't go over well with anyone (though they would sure look cool all lined up).  (Message edited by Hooper on December 04, 2008) | ||
| Wbrisett |
Lots of good advice here. I guess the only thing to add to this equation is do what you feel is you. Neither my wife or I are big into events. Our wedding (her first, my second) was us, two witnesses and a priest on the Rideau Canal (Ottawa, Ontario) in February on the ice. Relatives were told, "you're free to come if you want, you'll have to fly there yourself and the long range forecast will be in the around 10 F". Needless to say they didn't come. Talk to each other a lot, and involve each other in stuff that you do. Sounds simple, but the reality is those two things are usually the hardest to do. I started riding again after I was married. My wife started riding about a year and a half after I started again. Now, part of our together time is spent riding bikes together. The other part preventing each other from trying to kill our 10 year old, going on 16 year old. Find the right woman, the right bike, and you have paradise. Wayne | ||
| 99savage |
You are not listening! Five is just right, as a matter of fact lend a couple out & borrow another one so that you can move them around after married. After you are married you can take a couple back, sell a few & get a new one - It will just be "one of your motorcycles". All this assumes your bride is not a sprocket jockey. - If she is then just be straight with her, she will understand. | ||
| Cityxslicker |
Cycle world says you NEED 5 Bikes 1) Touring 2) Cafe Hopper 3) Sport 4) Dirt 5) Classic/Antique/Collector They say nothing of wives. I will do the same. | ||
| Froggy |
So you need 4 Ulys and a RR1200? Sounds good to me | ||
| Danger_dave |
I only 'need' 1 bike. Main reason I like the Uly because it does so much so well. I bought a cheap engagement ring too. got her a better one later when WE could afford it - and I had established it was a secure investment. | ||
| Skinstains |
I'm tellin' you Hoop, DON'T DO IT !!! So all these married guys are giving you good sound advise right ? Every one of them is telling you how to get what you want. What you have to give for what you want. The give and take. Take a step back and think about it. They are giving good advise. Why would anyone ever want to compromise ??? That's just stupid. Why should you have to earn something you can just go buy ? A little back history on the ol' Skinstains for ya buddy. I have been with the same woman (mother of my 23 year old son) For 25ish years. We are not married and more than likely will never be. I have ordered a 2009 Uly that was delivered to the dealer today (eight days early). She has no idea that it is coming. She will get a suprise when I bring it home to MY garage. If she doesn't like it...oh well. She knows where the door is and I do as well. Oh yeah I forgot to mention that every single day the phone rings with bill collectors but I still bought what I wanted and spent a couple of grand on upgrades for it already. This Uly will be my 12th bike. Some run some don't but none are far from running. What I'm trying to say is; I do what I want when I want and she does as well. No money wasted on a dumb hunk of rock. No legal contract binding either of us or our stuff to one another. I do believe, had we been married we wouldn't be by now. We are kinda like room-mates with privelages if you know what I mean. "I" think that too many people think that there are things that you do and don't do if you are married. That's what screws everything up. Our only rule is...if you are going to do someone else you must let the other know BEFORE you do. That way either will be able to say it's over without feeling betrayed or abused. As for breeding, I'm totally against it. Kids take up way to much money and time and after all the money and time you still may be stuck with an a$$hole ! You don't want that. You can play with other peoples kids if you really think you might like it. You wont because you would rather be out riding or buying another Buell. That's my 1/50th of a dollar. | ||
| Nevrenuf |
get the bike first. then she knows what she's in for from the beginning. been married 26 years and it took 10 years before i got back into it but at least she likes riding and enjoys the lifestyle unlike some people who are married and their wifes don't have nothing to do with it. it's gonna be a better marriage if she enjoys it with you imo only. good luck none the less. | ||
| Werewulf |
i thought i was buying a new model, but it turned out she was a demo...i hate when that happens... why are divorces so expensive? because they are worth it... | ||
| Ourdee |
Hmmmm, First thought don't do it. "I'm happily married." (she said I could say that) OK, get the bike at least 2 weeks prior to the proposal.  $500.00 ring set worked for me. (I got lucky) Did she used to ride on the back of her dad's bike? (if yes, then you are good to go) (maybe) We used to go to the range at least once a week. (she carried hers, I carried mine) Remember, hitting her is not an option, EVER! It was the best of times , it was the worst of times. Just do it and ride, ride, ride.  Oh and do THAT to. |
